🌻 rusger oneshots | countryhumans 🌻

20 | raindrops pt 3

🇩🇪: male
🇷🇺: male
angst
⚠️ mentions of suicide, plz dont read if you are sensitive to this <3, suicidal⚠️
————

"listen, ger," he started, letting out a puff of cold breath. winter was drawing near, concluding in him wearing multiple layers, with his ushanka sitting cozily on top of his messy hair. the messy hair that he once ran his fingers through every morning, brushing out the tangles. the messy hair that always had that faint scent of firewood. "i like you,"
the smaller country looked at the taller, his eyes watery, but refusing to let any tears fall.
"but...not like that. anymore." he explained. he wished there was a better way to tell him. he wished there was a way that would not hurt him.
the truth was, russia still liked him.
but he also liked him.

it was complicated.
but he felt like he would be lying if he stayed in a relationship where he even might have liked somebody else. it would make him feel like a cheater. and russia was not a cheater.

he just couldn't explain it.
he couldn't explain why he liked the snobby, spoiled, self absorbed son of a bitch that america was. why would he like somebody like him when he had the sweet and loving and smart germany already.
it's not like he chose to like america. he couldn't help himself. every once in a while when the america revealed his electric blue eyes under his sunglasses, russia could feel his heart skipping a beat. they had that little twinkle in them that he just couldn't explain.
fuck, he couldn't explain anything.

"oh," germany said, almost whispering. he lowered his eyes from the taller and gazed down sadly at the floor.

'oh,' he had said. of all the ways he could have replied he decided to say 'oh'. the simplest answer. but it hid so much underneath it. it hid so much hurt under it. russia could feel the longing pain in his chest.
"i'm so sorry, Германия,"
"it's okay," the german smiled weakly, not even bothering to hide his sharp teeth. "i hope you're happy with him,"

he hoped so too.

it turned out they were both wrong.

two soft knocks could be heard from outside the door to a certain aryan's house. after about a minute waiting, to which the visitor recieved no response, he tried knocking again.
he was met yet again with dead silence.
russia shivered slightly. it was not often that he was cold, but he too, had to admit that it was quite chilly. even his long winter jacket could not sheild him from the winds. he slightly adjusted his gray scarf, taking a deep breath before clearing his throat.
"Германия?" he called out the name of his former lover.
still no reply.

russia looked down at the bouquet of roses he had hand picked for germany. some of them had flakes of snow on them. some were a bit dirty, some were already starting to wither.

       he hoped germany didn't mind.
       "Германия," he said again, this time a little louder. after waiting only a few seconds more, he slowly opened the doorknob.
        surprisingly, it was unlocked.
        the door creaked open, revealing a house that was quite clearly no longer a home. everything was neat and tidy. a little bit too neat and tidy, even for germany. the house was spotless, all furniture was set up nicely and the floors were shiny.

       something was off.
       his thick eyebrows furrowed as his nose caught on to something.
        there was a strange scent lingering in the air.
        somthing was very off.

        he cautiously set down the roses on the counter and looked around the space ahead of him suspiciously. he quietly crept up the stairs to reach the next floor, where he met a narrow hallway leading to a bedroom and what he assumed was an office.

        his mouth fell open. he dropped the note he was holding in his hand.
        time slowed down as he tried to rush into the room, grabbing hold of the body and clutching it protectively in his arms. warm liquid rolled furiously down his cheeks, his eyes squeezed shit, hoping that what he saw wasn't real.

     but it was.

      "no," he whispered, choking on air. "no, no, no, no Германия no no this isn't happening please Германия please please please," he sobbed, gripping the dead body closer and closer, as if clinging on to some foolish string of hope that germany was still alive.
      he saw the wound. it was clear what happened.

      the german shot himself.

       and there he was now, dry blood plastered around the lifeless corpse, somehow even more blood managing to pour out. there was no heart beat.

        russia would never hear the rhythmic beat of  the aryan's heart ever again.

        "i'm so sorry, germany. i was so dumb, i don't know what i was thinking. i never loved america. i only loved you. i'm so so sorry. i'm so sorry, my love," he whispered, salty tears to daring to stop falling. "please," russia choked out. "please don't go,"

      drip drop.
      the rain poured outside.
       he missed him.
       drip drop
        where was the calming rain when he needed it?
         drip drop

       he had an idea.

    drip drop.

       "maybe it's time to join you, Германия," russia laughed sadly, looking over to the same pistol his lover had used to kill himself. "maybe it's time we reunite,"

       he smiled weakly, stopping himself.
       germany wouldn't want that. he needed to remind himself. he was here for a reason.
       he was here for him.

        "i love you, germany," he said, looking away from the gun, closing his eyes once more to return to the bliss of sleep where he was haunted by his past and his regrets.
        he snuggled into hs teddy bear.
       

        plip plap, the rain sang.
        maybe it would be okay.
        plip plap
        maybe he should live until tomorrow
         plip plap

        maybe tha's what germany would have wanted.

————
1016 words
heck im done w this mini series thingy majigy
anyhow
hope you enjoyed
have an amZing rest of your day <33