🌻 rusger oneshots | countryhumans 🌻

6 | maybe it was meant to be

🇩🇪: male
🇷🇺: male
angst
requested by the lovely @Fnaduppet
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he held his legs close to his chest, whimpering and trying to silence his tears. he didn't have a right to cry though. he was the bad guy here. no, no. he's either fucked up in the head or he's looking for attention.
a new flood of tears came and wet his sweatpants. thankfully the door was closed, but he wouldn't blame him if he wanted to see him cry. he must want to see him in misery. stop it germany, you're making this about you. he smacked himself hard with his hand, attempting to get rid of his terrible headache that throbbed through his quiet sobs.
he was everything he promised russia he wouldn't be.
he was selfish, he was rude, he was brutal and heartless, he only did things to benefit hmself. he hit him.
that was the one thing he swore to him that he would never do. that he would never be like his father. but no, germany couldn't even keep that one fucking promise.
he hit his boyfriend. he regretted it so much. he wished he didn't. he wished he could turn back time and stop himself for doing that. he didn't even remember how hard he hit, but that didn't matter as much as the fact that he hit him.
germany coughed, his throat dry from all the crying.

"гер?" a voice called from behind the door. "can i come in, my love?"
germany immediatley layed down on the bed and pretended to be asleep, avoiding talking to his lover. he heard the door creak open, and quickly close behind him again.
large hands touched his arms, trying to be as gentle as possible. the warm red hands ran from his shoulder to his elbow, and back again, before a soft pair of lips touched his neck. "i know you're awake," he said softly. "i heard you crying. is it still about that thing?"
germany nodded, choking out another sob.
"baby, you didn't do anything. it was an accident,"
"i hit you," he said through his tears.
"no, germany," the russian sighed. "you were mad, and you couldn't control your reaction, and it happened. it happens to me too,"
"hitting you is still hitting you,"
    "i've hit you too, remember? the exact same story. we were having a fight, i got mad, raised my hand and hit you. i regret it so so much, i wish i didn't do it, but it happened. there's nothing i can do about it, you know?"
     "still,"
"i don't think so," russia shrugged. "c'mon boo, i'm not mad. you didn't do anything and i'm perfectly fine."
"i'll make it up to you, i promise," he said softly as he buried his face in his boyfriend's chest. "i'm so so sorry,"
    the taller he shushed him by placing a finger on his lips.
    "don't be," he said, gently drawing circles on his lover's back in an attempt to calm him. the russian placed his head on top of germany's, trying to get comfortable and to make him feel more at home in his arms.
     "why are you still with me, russia?" the aryan choked out through his tears. "i've never done anything for you, i just hurt you and use you constantly,"
     "i stayed because i love you,"
     "but why?"
     "you make me happy. you are the highlight of my life, the one thing i look forward to everyday. you give me a reason to wake up in the morning," he answered truthfully, now playing around with his hair and gripping on to his sweater tightly, so that he can't run away.
     "but i hurt you,"
    "we wouldn't be a couple if we didn't fight. babe, this is the whole point of relationships. there are ups and downs, we get angry and we get mad and we get sad and we get lonely, but we're still here. we're still here together, and that must mean something, right?"
     "i-i guess," his boyfriend sniffled in response. "i'm so sorry russ,"
     russia felt the german melt into his strong arms, absorbing his warmth and embracing his lover in his arms, never wanting to let go.
     maybe they weren't perfect.
     but maybe it was meant to be.
      red, white, and blue fingers found themselves on black, red and gold ones, lacing themselves into each other. russia felt a gaze on him, looking down to face germany's bright blue eyes, still a bit puffy from his earlier crying. he couldn't help himself. he leaned down and closed the gap between them, his pale and chapped lips locking onto the other's soft and pink ones.
     nothing sexual, no. just a kiss. a kiss that was more than a kiss. it was a kiss that connected the two, sewing their world together and stitching the bond into one peice. it was a kiss of a apology, and a kiss of forgivness. a kiss of fear, a kiss of determination. a kiss bringing the countries back to life, back to sanity. the kiss brought them home.
     maybe they fought.
     maybe they got angry.
     maybe they got sad.
     maybe they felt like they couldn't do it.
  

     but that's okay.
     maybe it was meant to be this way.
  
    "ich liebe dich (i love you)," a voice whispered.
     "ich liebe auch dich (i love also you)," germany chuckled at russia's broken german, pulling him closer.
     "i love you, russ, forever. no matter what,"

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936 words
oh gosh this is rushed and awful im so sorry
rlly crappy angst, i might rewrite it later
hope yall liked it either way <3