Fix me (sequel to broken promises)

Pls answer this question

Ok so this isn't a chapter I just wanna see what you guys think bc I'm now thinking back on my past friendships and it's 5am

Do you guys think this is toxic or not

So I had a friend over at my house we were like best friends but idk about now we drifted a lot bc of COVID and plus she was really distant let's call her Zoe

So like she was at my house one time and like where I live at the time the teachers were on strike and we had random days off of school. So like once she was at my house it was late we were hanging out in my basement it was also a Sunday night school night. We didn't know if the teachers were going to protest or something or not but like yeah. So my friend she's like popular and friends with the popular kids. Like the kids I got angry about a few days ago on my announcement thing on Wattpad here. So like yeah she's friends with the girls I don't really like.

This is not related to the story but these girls that I constantly get mad about like they say stuff like how homophobia is bad which it is it is very bad but like their friends with the most homophobic people in the town like wha- istg one of their friends dmed me and called me the f slur

Anyways so like we were hanging out in the basement and she starts texting her friends and stuff while I'm on my phone scrolling through tiktok. She then starts like Instagram calling them and they wanted the teacher to go on strike so they can hang out the next day.

*this was pre COVID

Like they were talking about it and where they would go and what they wanted to do right in front of me and I didn't even get asked or anything. Not that I cared or not my parents wouldn't of let me anyways but like it's just nice to be asked. So like yeah They were talking about what their gonna do and like also talking about group chat inside jokes and messages and funny pictures of each other right in front of me and I'm not even in any of those gcs. My friend didn't even do anything about it too.

Like if that was me if I was her I would've told them I can't talk know and I'll call them later because I'm hanging out with my friend right now because that's the right thing to do and also if feel guilty and I'd over think it. But like she didn't do that she just made plans with them not even bothering to invite me. It felt like I just wasn't there I was just left out of the conversation

I don't know how to feel about it bc like it's happened a couple of times tbh

Also on Halloween night last minute she canceled on me to go with her other friends after she kept on telling me we were gonna go trick or treating together. She just takes the better offer if she gets one.

When I was really close with her I always felt like second best. It may just be me being clingy and shit but like I considered her as my best friend.

I remember in all those types of situations I felt awkward and left out. Like I'd get really hot and sweaty and just like my cheeks would turn red. But like my cheeks never turn red not even in the cold or hot. Only in those types of situations. Like I'm tan. Pretty tan it never shows but only in those situations it does

Also she would never speak up for herself I would have to. Like I remember we were picking partners for work and like we planned on being partners but like you know when the teachers talking and like you choose while she's talking. That's kinda what we didn't but not really. This other girl though who was also our best friend at the time she wanted to be my partner but like I said no because I was being with my other friend so then that girl asked my best friend who I was gonna be partners with before I could. And guess what. This girl couldn't even say sorry no I'm with her. But she didn't and she was partners with my other best friend