Fix me (sequel to broken promises)

I dont know i need advice ok

Ok this isn't a chapter but yeah

I don't know what to do anymore guys I feel so left out in everything in school in basketball in social media and yeah. Ever since Quarantine started I felt off a bit. I mean maybe it's because I'm not around people but it just feels weird yk. Like my basketball team started practicing and I'm not allowed to go because my parents don't want me too because my family's kinda high risk I'm the only non high risk one but anyways

Like I just feel left out yk like on the snap gc with my basketball team they all talk about things from practice inside jokes and all their drama they have but once they start talking about it in the gc I feel left out because I'm the only one that doesn't go to practice. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot. Like my 2 closest friends from basketball (btw I play the highest level which is rep) are now like best friends on the team leaving me alone. Like I remember before when I used to go to practice I would always be the one person without a partner but like when there's 3 people in a group I'm always their third person. Or like when the other person isn't there I'm now gonna be their partner. I'm sick and tired of alway being the second pick like it's honestly annoying and it's pissing me off. I'm always left with no partner and it really sucks. Everyone has their best friend on the team and I just don't. I feel left out yk. I hate the feeling of being second pick it makes me feel like I'm not good enough to be first. At school too I'm always second pick for partners and have to be partners with the person who doesn't have a partner. I'm sick of this shit why do people do that like it makes me feel like shit. I just have a hard time making friends because I'm so awkward. I do online school so I see nobody all day I just sit in front of a fucking screen all day long talking to no one. And when I do talk to people irl I get shakey and yeah nervous and I hate that feeling it honestly pisses me off

All I want is just to have a irl best friend who I can talk to and not get laughed at for telling my problems. It's mostly because I'm to scared to tell people what's wrong I just ignore it. I know like this is telling people writing this but it doesn't matter

Basically I just feel left out and I can't make friends so yeah

Have a good day guys