Love, Lies, and Insanity

Taken

I woke with Eleanor still asleep by my side. I got out of bed and grabbed Toby before heading to the couch where Davy had fallen asleep the night before. I tried to look at him, but all I could think about was what had happened the night before. Were those just drunken thoughts, or was that how he really felt.  I walked into the parlor where I found Benjamin, Lucy and Johanna. They all looked so happy, how were they so perfect?

"Good morning Kate." Lucy said

"Good morning. Why are you all dressed up, where are you going?" I asked

"We are going out to the flower shop!" Lucy replied excitedly.

"Alright then" I said walking over to get a glass of water.

"Tell Mrs. Lovett that we've gone to they flower shop, when she wakes up." Benjamin said.

"Alright, have fun." I said as they walked out the door and grabbed their stroller for Johanna. I walked back into the room where Davy was sleeping.

"Hey, wake up!" I shouted at him.

"What?" he asked as he cracked his eyes open.

"We need to talk about what happened last night." I said in a serious voice. I didn't want to talk about it, but we needed to. I'm not sure that he would remember, but I now knew how he felt. I sat on the edge of the couch in a stiff position. "I don't know how I should feel, but I don't feel the same way I did before." I kept eyes forward as I couldn't bear to look into his eyes. I could hear the crackling of the fire as I struggled to get the words out of my mouth. " I don't love you, but for the sake of ourselves and the baby I think we should remain acquaintances."

I sat with my gaze remaining on the fierce flames and flying sparks before my eyes. I sat pondering about our relationship. I could care less about how he felt. If he had done that once, who's to say he wouldn't do it again.

"Why can't we be friends?" He asked

"Because friends know each other" I responded almost unable to handle talking to him.

"What are you talking about? We know each other." He said with disbelief of my previous statement. I could feel myself start to bubble with frustration. What couldn't he understand?

"We clearly don't!" I said starting to raise my voice. "If we knew each other, you would know that I am completely uncomfortable even being in the same room as you. How am I supposed to trust you again? Why should I trust you again?" I paused for a moment.  I felt my heart sink into my chest as the words flowed out of my mouth.  "Why would you put me in that position, I had already said no? And you still tried to push the boundaries." I paused again. I thought he might have chance of having an excuse, but he didn't. There was nothing he could do to make it right. "This isn't the relationship I want to be in." I sat for a moment then slowly stood up keeping my gaze set on the flames that danced before my eyes. Even though I felt like I was telling him lies, every word I said I truly believed. I had loved him so much and was willing to die for him, how had I changed my mind so quickly?

I walked back to the parlor where I found Eleanor eating her breakfast. I didn't want to think about Davy anymore. I didn't want to spend my life with him as we were. I realized I was beginning to get lost in my thoughts, so I tried to start a conversation.

"Benjamin and Lucy headed out with Johanna." I said

"Where are they headed?" Eleanor asked

"Flower shop" I said. I sat down with her and rested my head in my hands.

"Love, stop being so gloomy. It'll get better. How about this, tonight we can go to the market place. There are plenty of men there looking for a date." She said. I lifted my head and she wiped the tears from my eyes. I smiled at her I knew she was trying to make me laugh, but I just couldn't when all I had on my mind was Davy.