32 . for sale

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Much to everybody's dismay, 'James', who had booked to come and see the house turned out to just be Jim

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Much to everybody's dismay, 'James', who had booked to come and see the house turned out to just be Jim. The man had been walking around awkwardly, talking about changes he wanted to make around the house, like making the upstairs, the downstairs. Alice, Jonny and Adam had found this much more amusing than Jackie and Martin. 

"Your bedroom is very nice." He commented looking around Martin and Jackie's bedroom. "I think I would preserve this room for all eternity."

"Not creepy at all." Alice remarked. 

"I'm going downstairs to stare at my hands." Martin said before leaving the room. 

"Does the bed come with the house?"

"Yes it does, Jim." Jonny said quickly only for his mothers eyes to widen. 

"No, it doesn't!"

"Are you prepared to sell the bed. Hire it out?" He caught onto Jackie's stare before pulling out a camera and taking pictures. "I could always make a replica."

Alice gasped, turning to Adam. "Do you ever think we should suggest to the police to look under his patio?" 

"Nah, Wilson would eat any bodies." He shook his head. 

Jackie quickly proceeded to lead Jim to the front door, wanting him gone as soon as possible but the man stopped in his tracks. "Jackie, I haven't seen the roof."

"I don't think that will be necessary." 

"They do say the roof is the most important part." Adam said with a smirk. 

"Hmm, keeps out the rain you see." Alice agreed as Jonny nodded. 

"Yes, I've heard that!" Jim nodded but Jackie just shut the door on him, shaking her head. 

"You're all horrible." She remarked as the family moved back into the dining room to eat the rest of their food. They were all quiet until Jackie tried to convince the boys that nobody would actually buy the house.

"Imagine, this could be the last time we eat crumble in this house."

"Crimble crumble." 

"In this room." 

"At this table."

Crash!

The fake pouts of the boys were disrupted as a large bang came from outside the house, they all rushed up and out of their seats to see where the noise was coming from. "Oh god!" 

Nobody could quite believe the sight they saw outside, Martin's car crushed by a ladder that must have fell onto it. "Shitting! Shitting! Shitting! Shit on it! My shitting car!"

"How the fuck?" Alice asked in disbelief. 

"Hello allllll!" Hanging off the roof, was Jim, who must have climbed up there after being denied to see it by Jackie. "Just checking the roof." 

lover boy // jonny goodmanWhere stories live. Discover now