Darkness Falls, Light Rises #Wattys2015

Ch.20

Ch.20
Love?

What the fuck?

Jumping away from him, I sat back on the chair I had been sitting on previously and groaned, scolding myself. He fucking loved me. What was I supposed to say to that.

"Brandy? Tell me what you're feeling." He said cautiously, kneeling in front of me.

"What the fuck? Why the fuck would you say that?" I shouted, enraged by his announcement.

"It's how I feel and I'm not going to keep that from you. You need to face your fears." He explained, holding me in place as his hands gripped my shoulders. "I don't want to hide anything from you, which is why I should tell you that my mother is here, at this party."

"I think you should've told her that before you arrived, dear." Catherine said, her voice sickly sweet. "I don't bite."

Giving her a once over, I stepped in front of Mason subtly and pulled her into a stiff hug. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Damage control. If you don't hold up your side of the deal, you'll regret it. I assure you." She replied, pulling me even closer, making the hug even more threatening. "You are not supposed to have any type of emotions toward him. Kill him or I will find someone else who will."

Untangling myself from her, I glared at her, tempted to chop off that cocky smile she was sporting.

"It's nice to see that you both don't want to kill each other." Mason noted, not feeling the immense amount of tension in the room.

"I'll leave you two alone." She said softly as she retreated. "Don't forget there's supposed to be a party going on; Anya's getting worried. People refuse to come in here if you haven't noticed."

Groaning, I sat down and began to rub my temples, trying to clear my mind. When I could tell she was completely gone, I spoke.

"We'll talk about this later; Anya needs my help." I muttered, getting up again to leave. When he blocked my path, I clenched my jaw, tired of his games. "Get out of my way."

"Anya has James who is more than capable to show Rider culture. This is about me telling you how I feel about you and you afraid to actually feel." He said confidently, his beautiful blue eyes boring into mine. "You say that you're tough and you know how to act, but the path you're going is a dangerous one."
"I don't need you telling me about myself." I growled, growing impatient with his need to try to find some psychological problem with how I dealt with things. "I cope with things the best that I can."

He scoffed, looking at me in disbelief. "You're really going with that?" He paused, clenching and unclenching his jaw. "Brandy, ever since those perverted, despicable, scum of the earth, kids raped you haven't gotten angry, sad, or any other sensible emotion that corresponds with rape victims. You haven't even said anything about it! It's as if nothing has changed!"

Throwing my hands up in frustration, I backed away from him, suddenly overwhelmed with everything he was throwing at me. Not caring if he got angry, I easily morphed my dress into something more comfortable: tight fitting pants and a loose fitting shirt.

"Goddammit, Mason! Why can't you just learn to drop things?" I yelled, throwing the empty glass at the wall. I hated this. I hated when I could hide my emotions well enough that they began to seep through the seams.
"I told you already...I love you. The question is...do you? Do you love me?"
"It isn't that simple." I mumbled, averting my eyes as I spoke.

"Yes it can, Brandy! You're the one who's making it complicated. Either you love me or you don't! Choose one."

"Aren't you listening? I can't because I love you! I'm trying my best, which means that I will pretend that it never happened because I blame you!" I screamed, a few tears rolling down my cheeks. "I try to forget because I want to love you completely, but you sent me to that damn school. You built that school. You allowed those children to attend that school. All roads lead back to you, so it makes it pretty damn hard to love you while I blame you for my rape!"

Taking a deep breath, I shut my eyes, realizing what I had just said. Wishing I could take back everything, I lowered myself to the floor, hanging my head as I dug my nails into my injured leg, attempting to compensate for the emotional overload I was feeling.

"Brandy-" Mason whispered, putting his hand on my shoulder.

Flinching away, I glared at him, not saying a word. I didn't want him to touch, look, or be near me. I felt nauseated just thinking about it.
"I'm sorry."

Sighing, I shook my head, pulling my hair back. Standing up, I dusted off my pants and grabbed his hand.

"It's my fault. Those are my burdens to carry and you deserve better."

"Brandy, you said that you love me! I may feel bad about the rest, but I know that I have a chance."

"Mason, those were lies." I lied, needing to clean up after my emotional spill. "I didn't mean those things. You were just there and I needed to vent. I'm the one who should be sorry."

Standing awkwardly in silence, he suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace, my body retaining its stiff posture. I wanted to relax in his arms, but with all the emotions and cortisol running through me, I wasn't ready for that.

"I don't believe you, but I love that you love me."

"Just don't let it go to your head." I laughed softly, when his chest puffed up a bit.

"Don't let it go to your head. You're dating a king; that's pretty significant." He whispered, pulling me around so that my back was flush against his chest. "Besides, I'm hot."

Rolling my eyes, I laughed, amused by his newfound narcissism. "Right, you just keep on thinking that."

"Oh, I will."