Alive//H.S

Buttercup

Forget it, I'll do it sometime, ooh
I'm locked up on the button
Cant you do it sometime?

early update cause we hit...

20 FUCKING THOUSAND

wtf is happening 

i love you guys so much 

thank you thank you thank you 

PLEASE GO READ MY NEW STORY: WOMAN 

please, it would mean the world to me 

okay...here ya go 

Lila Rose

We still laid in the same position as before, talking quietly amongst ourselves as the sky outside got cloudy with cold clouds, since the weather was changing so much and November was approaching quickly.

"What do you want for your birthday this year?" Harry asks and it almost surprises me he remembers. My birthdays the third of January, almost a month before Harrys, and I had barely even thought about my birthday, let alone him remembering.

I mean, I knew I had told him a while ago and he and the boys sent a cute voicemail on my birthday, but I guess I never thought he would be around me for another celebration. Birthdays were a huge deal when my dad was around. We would go to his favorite prime restaurant, KFC, and get some cakes and candles and bring in loads of presents, spending hours wrapped around each others warmth as we celebrated another year together.

"I didn't think you still remembered that," I say honestly, resting my chin on his chest and he lets out a breathy laugh, his hands never stopping their constant little twirls and tugs in my hair.

"Don't think I could forget if I tried, Lavender...thought about you every year," he says and I stare up at him with fawning eyes, wishing I knew how to express how much he meant to me in that specific moment.

"I don't think you know how much that means to me," I whisper, smiling and shifting on my hands to take my lips in his, smiling into his mouth and he sighs against my lips, his sugary taste having my mind go cloudy.  He breathes me in, his hands going down to hold my waist against his. His arm hooks under my waist, flipping us, him on top now and I feel my breaths heave heavier at the sight of him on top of me.

He dives back in, his lips fast and wet against mine and I have a hard time keeping up at first, but I just melt into him and let him take control.

I never did this with Ian, the make-out scene, and the lovey cuddling. Ian was always moving towards bigger milestones like getting a house and stuff like that, but that stuff wasn't my top priority, I guess I had to change for him. I love doing this with Harry though, his hands slipping gently up my sweater, not in a sexual way, but in a way where he can soothe over my heated skin.

"I can't get enough of you," he sighs as I nip and suck at his jaw, my nails softly scratching up and down his back and he sighs into me, letting his head fall into my neck as I peck little kisses against his ear.

"I wish I knew how to tell you what you mean to me...wish I knew how to repay you," I mumble into his shoulder and his nose taps my neck.

"You don't have to repay me, baby. There's nothing to be given back. Just wanna let you know that I'm here for you...," he whispers and I sigh, tracing circles on the warm skin of his back. I squeeze my eyes closed, holding him as close as I can, trying to find the right words to express how I feel.

"When I saw you at my dad's funeral after so many years...I had no idea what I was going to do. I-I just remembered feeling like I couldn't even talk to you. I wanted to-I swear- but I felt like if I did you would be disappointed in who I was. I thought you would've thought I was a failure to my dad...but now I'm here with you and I c-cant even think of a way to tell you how amazing you make me feel...it's like all of the pain I'll admit I've been through has brought me to you...and you're making it all go away. It doesn't hurt as bad when I'm with you," I say slowly, choosing every single word carefully and I open my eyes when he pulls away from my neck, looking down at me with a look in his eyes I haven't seen from him before, and honestly, I'm scared of what he's going to say.