Alive//H.S

Party In The U.S.A

Jumped in the cab,
Here I am for the first time
Look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign
This is all so crazy
Everybody seems so famous

UHM EXCUSE ME BUT HOW IN THE NAME OF HARRY STYLES' BALL SACK DID THIS GET TO 3,000 READS I-

i love you guys more than you could ever know, thank you, my emerald babes. 

Lila Rose 

"WHOS READY TO PARTY?" Yasmine screams as she walked into the room, throwing her stuff on the bed that was next to mine, holding up a bottle of wine in the air like it was a trophy. I giggle, shaking my head and pulling out my makeup kit, just to start getting ready for tonight. I know that Tae and Eva will be preparing our outfits tonight, but I still have no idea what I'm wearing. 

"Can someone french braid my hair for tonight?" Mia asks, brushing through her bright blue hair, the color matching her personality perfectly for some reason. 

"I can," I offer, her thanking me as she walks into the bathroom where Annika was, trying to perfect her eyeliner, but getting even more frustrated with it. I take the mirror that was provided, setting it on the end of the bed and I start my makeup. 

"Can I sit here?" Annika asks, gesturing to space next to me and I nod, her sliding onto the bed and starting her makeup. I decided to do something more dramatic, but I also knew that I would be getting pretty hot on stage, so I didn't want it to melt off. I wouldn't say I'm nervous for tonight, I just hope everything goes well, and that I don't mess this up for Harry. He had to be just as nervous as I was, considering this was his first show alone too. 

"Wow, you look amazing!" Annika says as she borrows some of my eyeshadow. "Thank you," I smile back. "You look amazing too," I grin, and she thanks me. I realized I forgot to fill up my water bottle, so I stand and start making my way down the hall to the ice machine.  The walk wants long, so I didn't even put on my shoes, just my socks as I walk down there, taking out my braids in the process. I knew my hair was going to be curly, so I would straighten it before the show, and maybe just curl a few pieces. 

"Jesus," I breathe out when I turn the corner, seeing Harry there, scaring the shit out of me. 

"Sorry," He laughs, screwing the lid of his water bottle, his eyes going to mine for a minute before he does a double-take.  

"You look great, Lila," he smiles and I can see the proudness in his eyes as I thank him, him slipping behind me and going back into his room, me filling up my water bottle before going back into my room. I take some drinks before grabbing my bag, seeing that the time for our rehearsal was coming fast, and I still had to get my shoes and stuff out. I pull out some heels, hoping I didn't slip on them at the show, knowing that would 100% happen to me if I'm not careful. 

"Ready?" Yasmine asks when I finish braiding Mia's hair, the braids looking nice with the dress she had put on for the show, a flowy white dress with blue detailed flowers. We make it down to the car, Mia, Yasmine, Annika, and I all in one as the boys rode in another. I started to get nervous on the way, seeing how huge this arena was and how many seats there were. I press into my hands again, thankfully I had brought some concealer to cover my hands with. 

We walk inside, and I keep my eye out for Harry since I haven't seen him yet, but I know that he'll be here soon. Tae and Eva greet us in the dressing rooms and that's when I start to really panic. I didn't realize how stressful this was going to be, and now it's really setting in. I'm going on stage. With Harry. Singing his songs. And mine. AND a solo. I'm gonna faint. Harry enters as I press my hand against my stomach, butterflies making me feel sick again and I take some deep breaths. 

"here's your outfit, Lila!" Tae says excitedly and I thank her quietly, looking down at the shimmery top and black tight pants, the outfit making me calm down a bit that I didn't have to wear a dress for the first show. My head was spinning as I shakily made my way to the bathroom, and I can hear someone behind me call my name, but I can barely make it into the bathroom before I have to sit down from dizziness, my anxiety striking me hard in the chest and my stomach stings. 

"Hey hey hey, what's wrong?" Harry asks as I curl into my knees, putting my head between them as I try and breathe, the panic subsiding but my breathing gets worse as I keep thinking about how many people are going to see me. They're going to see me fail. I hadn't even noticed that Harry only had pants on, which if I'm going to be honest, made my breath faster. 

"Shhh, it's just me, you're okay," He says quietly as he crouches down next to me on his knees, having his hand run up and down my back as I try and keep my eyes on him, my heartbeat pounding throughout my body. I've had panic attacks before, mainly after a nightmare, but this one was pretty big compared to those. Harry shushes me as he rubs my back, my head resting back against the bathroom wall and I try to take deep breaths, them getting caught in my throat. 

"Take a deep breath, Lavender, c'mon," He says and I take in a labored breath, finally opening my eyes and staring up at him. "I'm sorry," I say as I take deep breaths, him shaking his head again. 

"It's okay, you're okay, I know this is stressful," He says, brushing my hair back from my face and I feel myself wanting to burrow into his hand when he strokes my flushed cheek, the warmth warming my heart and my breath calms at the feeling. I don't know why, but when he touches me, I don't feel scared anymore, and I don't feel worthless like Ian had told me I was, I feel just like his lavender all over again. And I don't want to ignore the feelings I have for him any longer.