How do you stop feeling numb?
After the tragic death of her famous father, Lila Sinclair must face two different obstacles:
An abusive Ex boyfriend that broke what was left of her heart
And a curly headed singer, who is keen on making Lila feel Ali...
Wake me when the shakes are gone And the cold sweats disappear Call me when it's over And myself has reappeared
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WHATTTUP YALL
Lila Rose
The ceremony was beautiful, even if I found myself zoning out and not wanting to actually process the fact that he was gone. Clara held my hand the whole time as I kept my eyes down, finally letting tears fall onto my cheeks as the preacher said beautiful words about my father.
We all filed inside to the room that was decorated with pictures of him as far as the eye could see, his bright hair and bright smile that made me smile for the first time in a long time. I had always admired how happy my father was, even at hard times in his life he was the light of the party.
I had told Clara that I would give a speech, and I was planning on keeping that promise, but right now I just couldn't breathe. It's like everyone around me was suffocating me in as the reality o my dad passing came to a screeching disturbance in my mind.
I could do this.
I can do this.
"You can do this," Gavin smiled, rubbing my back as I stood up and started to walk towards the stage, hoping and praying to God that I could hold it together long enough to say what I want to say about my dad. I didn't have anything planned, but I just wanted to speak from my heart. I wanted to be honest. I stepped in front of the microphone, looking up at the crowd to see Stevie sat in the back, right next to the table I was at.
My eyes flickered to the man beside her, heart-stopping at the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen. He was talking to the man next to him with long hair, bringing a hand up to brush his curls away from his face as I just stared at him. There was something about him that wouldn't let me look away. I took a shaky breath in when his emerald jade eyes caught mine, golden speckles in the corners that made my eyes go wide as he looked up to me. I quickly snapped out of it, clearing my throat and trying to clear my mind of those green eyes. He had the most beautiful features, such a thick build and a deep set smile, dimples showing perfectly.
"Hello," I rasped into the microphone, getting everyone's attention, including that man.
"My name is Lila Rose Sinclair, and I am the daughter of Atlas Sinclair," Saying his name had me trembling more, closing my eyes as I tried to keep myself together. At least for the length of this speech.
"I want to thank everyone for coming out to mourn and celebrate the life of my father, and I also want to thank you for all that you all have done for my father through his music years. My dad raised me by himself, with the help of Stevie and of course with the help of many of you in here today. I miss my dad more and more each day that passes by. I miss his smile, I miss his hugs, I miss his voice. I just miss him," I stopped when my voice cracked, looking back to my hands as I painfully pressed into them again, a bad habit I had grown in the last months.
"The media would say that my dad wasn't ready for a kid, or that he wasn't going to be able to take care of me as well as a family would. But, my dad was the best parent I could have ever asked for. I miss him so incredibly much," I closed my eyes for a second as tears flowed out of my eyes, I opened them again, getting caught with those green ones from earlier, tears falling from them as the beautiful man wiped at them, giving me a sad smile before mouthing:
'Keep going'
I took a deep breath at the words, nodding and wiping at my eyes before looking back to the crowd, trying my best to breathe.
"I want to thank you all for coming out here today. Please come up here and tell everyone your favorite memories of my dad. Thank you so much," I hurried out, not even staying on the stage long enough to hear them clap, trying to keep myself together enough to walk quickly back to my seat, passing that mysterious man and making eye contact as I sat down, Gavin wrapping an arm around me as I let out a shaky cry into his chest.
"You did so well, Lila," he whispered, pulling back for me to see his teary eyes. I thanked him with a nod, wiping my eyes again before paying attention to Stevie as she stepped up onto the stage. She looked into my direction, giving me a sad smile before stepping forward to speak.
"After being best friends for more than twenty years, Atlas and I only got in one fight. And that was over what Atlas was going to name his beautiful baby girl," She stopped as the audience laughed, my smile widening a bit at the thought of his stubbornness.
"When Atlas told me about how he was going to have a baby, I immediately broke down in tears of joy I knew that no matter what this baby was going to have the best father to grow up with, but we had a little disagreement on the name of the baby. You see, Atlas liked the name bertha, but I just couldn't let that happen. when the baby was born, Atlas was on cloud nine. He was overwhelmed with the joy of seeing this tiny red-cheeked baby, the light of his life. I had brought a huge bouquet of Lilacs, the baby eyes immediately transfixed by the deep red. I had suggested Tulip or Rose, after the way she looked at the flowers. But Atlas shook his head with his stubbornness," She stopped again, my whole body trembling as she kept speaking, just trying t focus on breathing, and not on how much I missed him. How much I needed him.
"On the way home, we were deciding what color we would paint the little nursery at Atlas' little cottage house, and I recommended a bright pink, but Atlas just said it didn't feel right. He thought for a second before the song Delilah by Tom Jones came on, him pulling over abruptly before turning to the baby in the back with the pastel purple cap on, looking towards me before whispering the most beautiful name I've ever heard. Lila Rose Sinclair. I am so glad I met Atlas and got to experience Lila grow into the beautiful image of her father that she is. I miss him more and more every single day. I know he would be so proud of every single one of you, and I also know that he would be smiling down on all of us right now,"
I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't stay quiet as I let out a sob, standing and running past the man, who had tears in his own eyes as I ran out of the room, collapsing into the bathroom.
I sobbed as loud as I could, not being able to hold myself back any longer. I can't do this. I can't do this without him.
I miss him so much.
"Tulip," Stevie whispered, scooping me into her arms as I cried, not being able to get him out of my head.
"Shhh my baby, it's alright," She whispered into my hair, moving to wipe at my face, her own eyes filled with tears as I kept my head down, pressing it against her chest as she held me.
"Stay with me for a while, my Tulip. You can stay with me, baby,"
