I'm in deep

Too quickly

It's crazy how fast things escalate.

One minute I'm sitting their and then I'm screaming at this bitch in the lobby of a hospital where people are mourning their loved ones. I'm not one for making a scene but when she told me what she did I just snapped.

She's crazy. I mean why would you drug your best friend to sleep with him. And on top of that she betrayed me.

I understand I may not be as important as he is to her but I should've known that she would pull this crazy shit. And god damn do I have a foul mouth.

So here I am shouting in the middle of the lobby "You fucking drugged him" over and over again. I could barely process this. What the hell is mentally and physically wrong with this person and what has compelled them to do this shit. OVER A GUY.

"Someone call security" I run to the main desk "Get her out of my sight immediately". By this point the tears start falling. Why would she do this to me? Well she doesn't care about me but him?

A security guard walks up to me and asks "Ma'am what's wrong?". I try to calm down as much as I can to say what I was about to say "This women drugged my boyfriend" and I didn't have to say anything else. She did an even crazier thing. When he asked her if she actually did, she admitted it. I'm at a loss for words. Maybe she actually was sorry but I'm not falling for that bull crap yet.

They take her away and I take the chance to ask about Austin. The nurse tells me he's in surgery and that he should be out soon. She also tells me I should go to the cafeteria and relax. Relax??? Why should I relax?? My boyfriend I guess is in surgery and I should relax? What kind of advise is that? Bad advise but I went to the cafeteria and I got some coffee. I sat at a table faced down with my hands on my head thinking of all the worst possible outcomes.

After hours of roaming the hospital pacing and drinking coffee I finally go back to the desk to ask about Austin. "Oh you are here for Austin O'Donell?" a doctor says overhearing my conversation with the nurse. "Yes, I'm his girlfriend" I turn to face him "What room is he in? I've been waiting for a while and I know family is supposed to only be able to visit but he doesn't have anyone right now." I start rambling off and the doctor stops me and says "There's been complications. I'm sorry he's still in surgery".

Oh my smile drops and the doctor continues, "You should go home and come back tomorrow". Home? where is home? I hop in my car and drive around aimlessly for hours.

Where should I go? I mean I could go back to me and Hopes apartment but I don't really wanna be there right now. I just want to be with him. Austin is the only person I really care about right now. All I can think about is how he is and wonder if he'll ever be okay. What kind of complications are they even talking about? What did she give him?

I drive up to the building and get in the elevator and ride it up to my floor. I open Austin's apartment and sit on his bed with my head in my hands. This is all my fault, right? I did this didn't I? How could Hope do this to her best friend? This is cold.

I look up and in the corner of my eye I see a hoodie. His favorite hoodie. I slip it on and borrow a pair of his joggers.

They still smell like him. I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror and I just start to cry. I slide down on the door and think about everything. And I figured out one thing. I don't and won't ever regret getting involved with Austin. I've never really felt like this before because I've never gotten the chance. Instead of living my life I've always written and lived through others. I'm not the 'he's my purpose and he's my life' type of girl but he gave me an adventure.

And he's someone I don't wanna lose.