Breaking Through - A Kuroo Tetsurou Fanfiction

Chapter 23

Third person POV

The room was completely silent - no one dared to speak up. Kuroo had his eyes fixated on the small gadget in his hands, holding it tightly and wishing she would step into the room right there and then. The team wore shocked, concerned and sad expressions. Each of them was processing the information at their own pace.

Kenma stood right next to Kuroo, being the best and childhood friend of his. The two had been the closest to Kageyama Amber and Kenma understood what Kuroo was going through. The atmosphere in the room was grey and solemn like they had just lost one of their own and they were never meeting her again.

"Can someone tell me why tears are coming out of my eyes?!" Yamamoto cried out, looking at his team, confused at his reaction. Everybody looked at him with the same confusion and pressed their lips into a thin line. Yaku placed his hand on Yamamoto's shoulder, attempting to console him but he was tearing up himself as well.

Kuroo covered his eyes with his arm and took one long, shaky breath. "How could she be sent for jobs like that?! She's the same age as us. Couldn't they have let her have a normal highschool life first? She... she doesn't need to shoulder everything herself..." Yamamoto ran his hand through his blonde mohawk.

"Now... we're just going to accept that we're never seeing her again? Pretend that she was never one of us? The memories we have of her? How are we supposed to do that? I... I want her with us!" He pressed his face in his palms, turning silent afterward.

"That's enough, Yamamoto," Coach Nekomata's stern voice took over his silence, "we need to understand Amber-chan's history. She found salvation in the job, and it makes her feel needed; it was something she never experienced all her life. We need to respect her choices." Everyone looked at their coach, carefully listening to his words.

"She probably thought that if she stayed, it would've been selfish. She would put everyone in danger, have everyone worry and no one would ever be happy living a life in constant fear. She made the most sensible choice; she chose to leave, she chose to protect us. She never wanted another situation like Kuroo anymore. And that's what I'm going to remember her by. A strong, kind and selfless individual." Coach Nekomata stood up and placed his hands on his hips.

"The memories we have of her will stay with us and shape us into better people. The least we could do to put her at ease is to follow the remaining schedule she had drawn up for us, do our best in volleyball and let her see from the other side of the world that we're living the best highschool life. That's what she wants for us," he walked over to Kuroo and gently patted his head.

Nobody could see Kuroo's expression, his arm covered the top half of his face, but everyone knew he was hurting the most. "Now, we better get back to our families and let Kuroo rest. Up, everybody, out of this room," Coach Nekomata ushered everyone out. "I'll stay. Our parents are coming over soon," Kenma's voice on the verge of breaking, which was uncharacteristic of him. Coach Nekomata simply nodded his head at him and closed the door behind him.

-JW-

Kuroo's POV

"It's over, isn't it? We never even said goodbye. How was that not selfish? What are we? What were we? I'm mad, Kenma. But it hurts more," my heart was aching. I was fighting back the tears and my nose started to run. Kenma mumbled in response, "I guess so... Kuroo, she warned you about this... is it right to be mad?"

"You're right. I really dug my own grave here. I told her I would be responsible for my own emotions in the end, and she trusted me to do it completely. Say... do you think I'll ever stop loving her?" Tears finally fell down the side of my face. Kenma sighed, "it takes time... no one would blame you for loving someone unconditionally."

"Look at you being all cool with your words," I lightly jabbed him in his side. "No... I'm only saying what I think I would do too. She's not the only special one to you; she broke through my walls too..." He admitted his feelings. I laughed and wiped my face from my tears, smiling up at the ceiling.

-JW-

Kenma and I spent the next few minutes talking about what happened in detail. How I saw her stepping out of the car with poise, how I almost got caught hiding behind the bush overhearing their conversation, how bloody nerve-racking it was to hear all the gunfire and how I saved her yet again.

After catching him up to everything, the door to my room slid open and our parents came rushing in. Kenma's parents went up to him while mine were hovering over me. "Tetsu! Are you alright? Oh, we were so worried! Amber came over to the house today morning in such a scary-looking attire, and her face was a mess! It really gave me a heart attack looking at her distressed appearance!" My mom took my hand in hers as tears slipped from her face.

"Amber went to our house? What did she say?" I asked in shock. "Well, it was super early like five in the morning. She was crying, trying to explain that you were injured. She collapsed to the ground and her partner had to take over her explanation. Your father and I asked them into the dining room to continue talking. While her partner, I think his name was Kasun-san, talked about everything, she was at his side the whole time,"

"But her eyes were... they were almost empty. She had a purple bruise all around her neck; her cheek was kind of swollen, and her arm was bandaged up. Oh! After learning everything about her, I can't help but be sad for her! They brought us to HQ and we were held up until just now. I'm so glad to see that you're alright!" She hugged me and sobbed into my shoulder.

"Honestly, I could never imagine such a little girl like her to be part of our country's defense. She really is an amazing girl. Sadly, towards the end of our talk, she apologized for everything and told us she had to leave. She gave us a proper goodbye and handed us a letter... for you," my father said as he handed me a lilac envelope.

She gave my parents a proper goodbye... what about me? I received the letter: Kuroo Tetsurou. My heart squeezed in pain again; my tears threatened to fall. My mom asked over and over again if I was feeling alright. I told her that my back still hurts but other than that, I was fine. Kenma's parents were caring as well. They brought over fruits and caught up with everything. I still held her letter in my hands, my heart rate never seemed to slow down.

Evening came around and visiting hours were over. Everyone had left my room and I was suddenly alone with a deafening silence. I switched on my bedside light and stared at the flimsy envelope in my hands. Her handwriting etched to my memory of teaching her mathematics and science. I took a deep breath and opened it.

-JW-

A single piece of paper was neatly folded inside and I slid it out:

To my dearest saviour,

Words will never be enough to thank you for everything you've done for me. You saved me once when I carelessly ran across that street that night. You saved me again when I was underneath that maniac. And what have I done for you?

I guess I might've been selfish to start a relationship I could never commit to, maybe it was my thinking that it was the least I could do for you. Besides that, I really loved you.

The quirky side of you, always making me laugh. The kind side of you, always looking out for everyone else. The serious side of you, when you're on and off the court. And the loving side of you, when nobody else loved me for who I am, but you did.

Thank you for never giving up on me and loving me unconditionally. But I beg of you - forget about me. I might never return from America and I might never see you again. Nonetheless, you deserve someone normal, who will be there for you every step of the way and love you as much as you love them.

This is my goodbye, Tetsurou. I hope you can too.

Love, Kageyama Amber