Dear Levi

Chapter 12

Dear Levi,

It's early march they told me, the flowers outside started blooming, they said, but I haven't seem them yet. I haven't seen the green leaves on the tree, I haven't seen the sun in a long time. Every day I feel worse, my legs don't work, I can barely breath. I feel like I am a prisoner in my own body. I hope it is almost over.

But I promised you one thing, that I would stay alive until you had your play. So I have to hold on for just a bit longer, although I can't see the play myself. I promised you could tell me all about it, when you got back. 

I am scared that I can't write any longer. The words get messed up in my head, it's killing me. I need a break after every sentence. And I don't know what to write. 

So this is my last letter. 

What ever happens later Steele is going to write down.

I just want you to know some things. I want to leave the world a better place and you're my legacy. Firstly, I love you so dear, you can't catch it in words because it's to complicated for that, but the love I feel for you is like the warmth of the sun, or the power of the waves. It feels like I am flying whenever I think about you, but it also feels like you bring me down to earth, you make me humble.

...

Dear Levi,

This is the last thing you are going to read from your father. He's just too sick to continue your letters. But he asked me to finish them, to tell how his story ended and how your story continued. He wanted me to assure you that he loved you. Let me tell you a story about how your dad made a promise, and kept it.

It was a rainy, friday morning. You had your very first schoolplay and although you should be excited, you weren't. Ever since your dad was in hospital I was staying at your house, to take care for you when Tyler was visiting your dad. That day you were staring out of the window, sighing like an old woman.

'Hey buddy, what's up?'

I asked and you shrugged your shoulder, still looking outside, where the raindrops were trailing down the window. I pulled you on my lap, softly kissing your hair.

'Dad made me a promise. He said that he would stay to watch my play, but he isn't coming.'

A small tear rolled down your cheek and angrily you wept it away.

'I can't play when dad isn't there to see me.'

You folded your arms across your chest and lend into me.

'Levi, look at me.'

You turned around, still a big frown on your little forehead, you blond hairs messily in your face.

'Would Troye want you to stop doing what you love, because of him. Do you remember uncle Connor?'

You nodded hesitantly.

'Well he told the world a beautiful lesson. Connor Franta was one of the wisest people I have ever known and what he said was so truthfull: do what you love, and love what you do. I know it's hard for you, and you might not understand all what I am tell you, but life doesn't wait and you have to make the most out of it.'

You closed your eyes for a minute, taking slow, deep breaths. Than your head slowly began to go up and down. You opened your eyes and jumped from my lap, immediately starting to run through the house.

'Your are right uncle Steele, school is almost starting, we have to be quick, c'mon Steele, get your car, hurry.'

...

I dropped you of to school and directly drove to the hospital. I parked the car right next to the door and hurried into the hospital. I found Tyler and Troye sitting on the bed, and when they noticed me Troye smiled in recognision, which meant he was heaving one of his good days. Tyler knew what was happening and instantly jumped off the bed, getting a bag that was sitting in the corner of the room. Troye just looked a little dazed by all of this, not really doing anything.

'Troye, do you remember the promise you made to Levi?'

Your dad nodded slowly and the sad glance that his eyes hold washed away, slowly getting what we were doing. 

'Well then, Tyler brought some warm clothes, pull them on and then we can go.'

I never saw anyone ever pull on an ugly sweater that quickly. Troye had lost a lot of weight and the sweater was hanging loosely on his body, a belt holding up his skinny jeans. I lifted him from the hospital bed and placed him into a wheelchair. I threw a warm blanket over him and gave him a warm pitcher, than I rolled him to my car where Tyler already was waiting.

...

The auditorium was already dark when we entered and silently we took our seets. The curtains opened and there you were, proudly holding up your little sword. You were the brave Peter Pan, fighting with captain Hook and saving Wendy from the bad guys. Your dad sat next to me, a content smile on his face, never letting go Tylers hand. 

...

'Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.'

The curtains fell and everybody was getting on their feet, clapping like mad men, or so you can say, proud parents. Those last words of the play left both Tyler and Troye speechless, slowly clapping and looking to the stage. The lamps were lit and that was the moment you saw your dad. 

'DAD!'

You shouted, jumping of the stage.

'Levi...'

Troye whispered, opening his arms for you. I've never been so moved in my entire life. My heart was ripped open when I saw you two embracing eachother.

'You remembered our promise.'

You mumbled. It was the perfect goodbye.