Dear Levi

Chapter 11 part 1

Dear Levi

Today was the best day of my life. In all honesty, I didn't know I could feel so loved. It's painful, it's contagious. Levi, love isn't something you can catch, it doesn't stand alone either. Love is a mixture between extreme attraction, affection, passion, honesty, modesty, being there where you are needed, love is all the happy feelings captured in one heart. You will know when you fall in love for the first time, your heart will hurt so much. But the pain isn't stopping you, no, it's pushing you to do all the things you were not willing to do before. Love is not only a feeling, love is a tear, a smile, a quiet sob or a loud laugh, laugh is all that. Love is... Love is love, there isn't a single emotion you can feel so much than love. 

Today I looked at your dad and I just knew that love was meant to hurt, because if it didn't, you wouldn't feel it. 

Today your dad and I got married, and now I can officially call myself the luckiest man of the world. There will a USB-drive in this letter, with all the imagery of this day, but I want to tell you myself how beautiful this is.

I find it hard to start, because so much

has happened this day, so many things I never want to forget. But one memory, one thing stands out, when Tyler was walking towards me, a light blush on his face. On his right hand his mother, on his left you. You were beautiful in that small button up, with your blue bowtie, and your eyes shimmering of pride. And Jackie was so stunning, and when she let go of Tyler and took you to your seats, she winked at me, sending me her blessing. 

And when I raised my head I saw my man reaching for my hands. And time stopped right there, I was on the bridge again, under the stars, Tyler holding my hands. 

'Troye, I have to tell you something. I know it sounds crazy, I know it sounds stupid, but I don't care anymore. I can't live another day without you knowing this. I can't keep my mouth shut, I can't keep my peace. Everytime I look into your eyes I know, and everytime you hug me I know. I can feel it from my head to my toes how incredibly in love I am with you.'

I still remember every word he said that night, I remember the smell of Italy, the feeling of the warm air on my skin. Some memories tend to fade away, but this was not that kind of memory, it didn't feel like a dream, every time I close my eyes and think of that moment I am there again.

'Troye Sivan Mellet, it's your time to say your wedding vow.'

I didn't look up, shyly watching at my feet, glancing at the chin of your dad when I was brave.

'I, Troye Sivan Mellet, take Tyler Oakley, to be my best friend, faithful partner and my one true love. I promise to encourage him, and inspire him and to love him truly through good times and bad.'

I stopped there for a second, turning towards your dad and pincing his hands.

'I will forever be there to laugh with you, to lift you up when you are down and to love you unconditionally through all of our adventures in life together.'

Tyler pinced my hand back and smiled through his tears.

'And I, Tyler Oakley, promise from this day forward you shall not walk alone, may my heart be your shelter, and my arms be your home.'

He let go of my hands and took my engagement ring from my finger, and then Korey walked towards us and handed us the new rings. We chose them together, but they are similar to my engagement ring. We wanted them to be that way. But this time, there were no engravings, because I couldn't bare the fact that when I have to give him my ring back I had to read the word 'always'. 

'This ring is the symbol of unity in which our two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle. Wherever we go, we will always return to one another. This is my promise to you.'

Tyler stopped there, because we were going to say this together, in unison. We ever tried to learn the words to you, but it was too complicated.

'To give the best of myself and ask no more than you give in return. To share with you my time, and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.'

Then we were officially declared husband and husband. I couldn't be happier, but I was still freaking nervous for our speeches. I was going to sing, and although I had practised, I didn't know how my voice was going to be with this pressure to do good. But first it was time for Tyler to give his speech, and then his best man, Korey, and after that it was show time for me. I almost shat myself.

'Ladies and gentlemen, can I have the attention please.'

Tyler stood up from our table and was handed a microphone.

'I would like to sing a song for my newly wed husband Troye. I know I am terrible at singing, but what I need to tell isn't really fit to be told by words. Dolan, Darren,Betty, could you help me out.'

They were handed a microphone too. A guitar started playing and Tyler started singing.                          

Oh, I built a world around you
Oh, you had me in a dream, 
I lived in every word you said
The stars had aligned
I thought that I found you
And I don't wanna love somebody else

He stopped singing there, handing the microphone to Dolan and walking towards me, shy but surely.

'Can I have this dance.'

'I would be honered.'

Oh, we left it all unspoken
Oh, we buried it alive 
and now it's screaming in my head
Oh, I shouldn't go on hoping
Oh, that you will change your mind 
and one day we could start again
Well I don't care if loneliness kills me
I don't wanna love somebody else

He then grapped my arms and pulled me on the dancefloor. We swayed along our dear family and our best friends, and they were all smiling, although tears were sliding down their cheeks. My dad stood up and asked my mum to dance, Steele and his wife soon followed. Then Jacky stood up and grapped your little hands, carrying you on the dancefloor and started to dance with you. I have never seen you that content. 

Oh, I thought that I could change you
Oh, I thought that we would be the greatest story that I tell
I know that it's time to tell you it's over
But I don't wanna love somebody else

It was beautiful, Levi, I knew he could sing, but wow, this was something different. This was sung with so much emotion, that in the end, there was not a single soul in the room who wasn't crying.

 'Troye, I need to tell you.'

He whispered in my ear, his breath tickling in my neck

'I don't wanna love somebody else. And I want our time together not te be measured in time, because we just don't have that much time, I want our time together measured in memories, because we have plenty of them, and they don't fade away like time does, they are always there, in our hearts and in our minds.'

Levi, your dad is the most romantic doofus of the whole world, but he is mine, and I love him. 

But most importantly I love you too, more than you could ever imagine, more that I could imagine. Love is strange.

Yours truly,

Troye Sivan Mellet, your loving dad