The other side of love

Before the worst

Chapter 15

I never slept, they did but I was up all night thinking about my future. And when I finally felt at peace with my decision the time was 08:10 a.m. and everyone was still asleep. So I went for a drive, and buzzed the gate.
" It's me Xolisa"
The gate opened, before I met Thandile, Siba and Ntlaka my life was different. I was a book worm that kept to herself, I did drink and go out but not as often, my housemates literally had to force me to go out with them. And Mbali was my best friend, we are still friends but we drifted after I met Thandile and Mbali had a baby. She couldn't go anywhere and when I visited her she would have other friends over, I was the friend who didn't understand that her life changed because of the baby. And she was the friend that made me feel guilty for living my life without her. Her pregnancy changed our friendship dynamic and I know that's wrong to say but the baby changed everything. She missed one call and I cancelled one lunch date, and then we just never tried again.
"Lisa?!"
She ran to me and gave me a hug, we haven't seen each other in almost 8 years.
Me" You look so beautiful! How are you? How's Lihle?"
"Yhoo! I'm sure yindoda endala"
Mbali" Akeva!"
" He probably wouldn't even recognize you"
Me" I need to show you lo wam, he will be 2 years soon and he is already the worst"
Mbali" You had a child?!! Thixo umtyisa ntoni?"
We both laughed
Me" Hahaha and I got married"
Mbali" Restaurants must love you and your money hahahaa"
Me" Rude!! Haha haha he cooks yena and Thili knows the lady at Woolies makes our Sunday lunch"
Me" Take your things, lets do breakfast"
Mbali" Okay, let me quickly speak to le ndoda"
" Come say hi"
Me" Do I know him?"
Mbali" Lunga, hahaha I have been with the same person since high school. Isenguye nangoku"
I knew where Mbali lives now because of my father, she never lost touch with my parents. Dad was shocked as hell when I called to ask for her address.
Me" Thixo wam! He will annoy me"
Mbali" Hahaha obviously"
We went inside, Lunga laughed as soon as he saw me, we shared a hug and then laughed at each other again.
" You still alive kanti?"
I hit his shoulder then shrugged.
Me" Not sure, am I really alive?"
Mbali" Dark! Let me change then we go"
She left us alone, he offered me something to drink and I declined.
Lunga" It's really nice to see you Lisa"
Me" Want an autograph?"
Lunga" unxilile"
Me" Hahaha akho need to be jealous of me"
Lunga" She missed you, but pride yenu ibhanxekile. She was hurt that you didn't invite her to your wedding"
" Strange if you ask me, since she didn't invite you to hers. I am so glad you here, she can finally complain to you about you"
Me" I'm just here for the weekend though, I go back to Thoyandau on Monday"
Lunga" Venda?"
Me" Yep, my husband is from there, so I relocated after our wedding"
Lunga" You left PE wena? The girl who moved to Grahamstown for varsity and returned 3 days later because she couldn't stay away from her parents and prefers PE, wena Xolisa?"
Me" Hahaha yes, mna and I won't even lie, I hate it. My son on the other hand loves being with his sister and father"
Mbali was already back and hanging with us.
"You have two children?"
She asked while pouring herself some juice.
Me" Nope, my husband and his first wife have a girl, then I have Thili. They are literally 4 months apart, basically twins"
Lunga" Woah!"
Mbali" Polygamy?"
Me" Yep"
Mbali" Wena wonke? Who are you?"
Lunga" I'm still stuck on her actually moving to another province"
I told them everything, even the parts of the story that I didn't want to share but I did. I was sobbing by the end of it and they both had blank stares.
" And now I'm here with my sister wife"
I faked a smile.
Lunga" You should speak to your husband, it's crazy how he doesn't know that you are miserable or that he hasn't checked up to see how you adjusted. Or you are such a great actress"
Mbali" So what now?"
Me" I'm moving back home"
"I need my son then I'll move back home"
My phone rang and it was Ntlaka, I was having such a great morning that I forgot about everything else.
" I have to go, they probably insulted Rendani Hahaha. Thank you for feeding me and listening to me, I will see you both later"
We shared a hug, then exchanged numbers.
Mbali" Thanks for the visit"

*

The rest of the weekend was fun, I really enjoyed every minute of it. Monday morning I took Rendani to the airport, she didn't say much in the car. Probably wondering why I was wearing tights and a t-shirt after I was banned from wearing them.
" Where are your things?"
She asked when I unloaded her luggage.
Me" At my house, I'm staying"
" I'll fetch Thili after I make the necessary arrangements for him school wise or babysitter but I'm staying here"
Rendani" I knew you wouldn't last"
Me" Well I guess you were right"
" You can now stop sharing your husband"
Rendani" Well, that was never an issue, you also knew that he loved me more and the more you fucked up the stronger our marriage got, so maybe I should be grateful for that too"
Me" I knew you were pretending"
Rendani" You honestly thought I didn't know about you two? How he missed my birthday because you were graduating, or how every Christmas he was with you? You really thought I would just accept you when Khathu was ready to disown his whole family for you?. Hectic"
" I don't even understand what he sees in you. There's nothing special about you and I thank God he also realized that. I should get going, I have a flight to catch and a husband that will be waiting for me at home"
She forgot to drop her mic because she just dragged me without breaking a sweat.

*

The whole day I spent looking for daycares for Thili and I finally found one after I was about to give up. I paid for what he will need and his fees, crechè is so expensive. I met up with Thandile for lunch, then bought myself some supper. I got to my place and ran a bath, my whole body was aching. Switched on my phone because it's been off since Friday and read my emails while in the tub, I went on my whatsapp and saw messages from Khathu. I opened he sent photos of him and Thili, then a few of him with Shudu and his mother. Then I read the messages he sent this afternoon;
" Your phone is off yet again, I hear you are not coming back, it's strange how you didn't involve me in that decision"
" I don't know what to say or do when it comes to you. I thought you were happy here, you looked happy and we were good. So I don't know what happened to change your mind"
" Switch your phone on!!!!! Fuck!"
" If you don't tell me what's happening, I will come there myself"
I didn't respond to any of the messages, just relaxed and shifted my thoughts to the three new clients I just got and the money I will make. But my ringtone interrupted my thought process and I checked the caller id.
" Mama!!!!"
I giggled, I love my son.
Me" Thillili ka Mamakhe"
" Unjani baby ka Mama yena"
Thili" Right mna"
" Uphi?"
Me" Ku Khulu, I'll come fetch you, granny misses you"
" I love you Thili"
Thili" Love Mama"
Hearing my son's voice just put me to ease, I knew this decision was not only for me but for the both of us.
" Xolisa"
Hearing his voice, I closed my eyes and let the memories flood me.
Me" Hello"
Khathu" Talk to me"
" I don't understand why you are leaving me"
Me" I'm not happy Khathu"
" We are not us anymore and I don't want to be there"
Khathu" Nothing changed, we just got married"
Me" A lot changed, I left there on Friday and you just calling me today because of what Rendani told you. You and I called each other so much that it bored everyone, you never went a day without checking on me and I have been miserable since the wedding. All I do is cry, it's exhausting and I am exhausted Khathu. The things your mother says to me, your whole family hates me and you somehow thought marriage would change that. So I am tired and I am putting myself first"
Khathu" I tried asking you, and you wanted space and I respected that. I gave you what you asked for, this is all news to me"
Me" I'll get Thili sometime during the week, I found a creche for him near your old place and he starts on Monday. I'll drive to PE because I need the rest of my clothes and my other work things"
" I'll meet a lawyer next week about our marriage, promise you I will ask for joint custody"
Khathu" You want a divorce?"
" After everything, you just want a divorce? Without meeting up with me and giving me a chance to speak?"
Me" You will convince me to stay Khathu and I will because you asked me. That's how much I love you! But I am not happy Khathu, we had great times together, lets end it like that. Remember us before we let everyone in, that's how I want to remember you. Goodnight"