Song of the Wind

Kabanata 24

Lost

The rush of wind tickled my skin with every stroke of my brush on to my canvas. The dewy mist of the morning, clouded the snow-coated summits surrounding the peaceful village of Lauterbrunnen but here I am, enjoying the serenity of my soul.

Eight years had passed since that fateful day where I last played the piano and lost my ability to hear. As years progress, the sound I am hearing are slowly fading to oblivion.

Noong first year college ako, nagsisimula nang mawala ang pandinig ko sa low pitches. Sa una, hindi ako makarinig ng high pitch, pero ngayon, sobrang hina na lang ang naririnig ko. My hearing is not totally blocked. May naririnig pa naman ako pero hindi na malinaw tulad ng mga nakakaraang taon.

I am diagnosed with Nerve Hearing Loss or Sensorineural Hearing Loss (SNHL). There has a problem with the nerve pathway from my ear to the central nervous system so the interpretation of stimuli receiving from the outside world through my ears is corrupted.

I asked my Audiologist if it has something to do with my mental illness, she said that it is a factor but it may be genetically inherited.

Though, as far as I remember, there was no one in our family who was diagnosed with SNHL like I do.

I inhaled through my nostrils and I was immediately envelope by the sweet smell of a nearby bakery in my house.

Rowan, my cute golden retriever service dog, bumped his nose on my thigh. Nabaling ang atensyon ko sa kanya at malapad na napangiti nang makita ang kanyang anghel na itsura.

I patted his head scratched his belly as a way of showing love to him.

"Wanna walk later?" I asked him.

He opened his mouth to stick his tongue and he even twirled around for me to see his excitement.

"Okay. We'll run some errands later."

Hinugasan ko ang brush ko sa dipper ng brushes ko at pinakatitigan ang pinintang tanawin.

A peaceful village situated at the heart of a vast green land brimming with different kinds of flowers. Surrounded by limestone cliffs, forest mountains with snow-capped summits and waterfalls sprinkled across, this village is a paradise here on earth and I am happy to be standing where this painting has been brought to life.

I named this masterpiece The Elusive Art of Tribulation. It is dedicated to someone whose life is at constant weary and problems that despite being in a good place such as this, deep inside, the heart is scarred with the ghost of the past.

Sa bakuran ako madalas nagpipinta lalo na sa mga ganitong tanawin. Kaya mabilis kong naipasok sa bahay ang tinutuyong obra maestra na nakapatong sa isang easel.

I start my mornings very slow. After waking up in the morning, it has been a habit that I pray. I'll urinate after fixing my bed and I'd usually make simple breakfast like pre-made sourdough I've baked with ricotta and avocado spread.

After breakfast, I'd usually go on a walk with Rowan especially if the skies are clear and the luscious greens spread across the landscape are thriving.

Today, it wasn't the case. Heavy layers of fogs are everywhere so I decided to finish my long-term project that I've been painting for three years.

I used to think that art is such an easy thing to do so I am confident to just paint whatever I like or whatever I feel. This painting had proven me wrong. Art is more than the feeling. It's a journey of how it would become and how much effort did the artist exert.

It was the same case with musical pieces-it's more than art and more than what the pianist feels. It was too late for me to realize.

Binuksan ko ang apoy ng gas stove at inilagay ang takore na may lamang tubig. I snatched a small wooden chair that I use to reach for the top cabinet where I store dried flowers for tea.