Song of the Wind

Kabanata 29

Distance

I took a deep sigh before I finally had the courage to look at him.

It has been a long time since I gave someone my most sincere smile. Maybe, not even once did I show sincerity to anyone since my father's death.

"Thank you for treasuring it. I bought that out of goodwill. You deserve to be given such an expensive gift."

His face threw off my defenses. The way he slowly loosened up all the tension within the creases and crevice of his worried face is warming me. He looked lost in between our stares.

Binawi ko agad ang tingin ko at napatingin sa aso kong naglalaro na ngayon ng paborito niyang laruan.

"You're still my rival, r-right?" The question suddenly came out of my mouth.

Hindi ko alam bakit gusto ko bang tanungin iyon pero gusto kong siguraduhin. It's not hate or a nonsense question. Being a rival gives me the opportunity to be equal with him. It may sound odd that I quite like our rivalry, it actually comforts me.

It took me all the willpower to look at him again. His eyes are wandering as if he is beguiled by the wonders of the universe.

"Yes. We are still rivals."

~

My heart felt light after the dreadful talk with Sandro. Umuwi na siya sa kanyang tinutuluyang apartment at nakapagligpit na rin ako ng aming pinagkainan.

Pagkaligo ko, naupo muli ako sa terasa at pinagmasdan ang matayog na bulubundukin sa kahabaan ng bayan. There are no lights to see the view but the constellation of stars above us illuminates this tranquil town. I am drinking a cup of milk as Rowan laid beside me.

For once, I find this scenery calmer, brighter, and daintier with the small details and speckles of light shining on the valley. This landscape is my escape from all the atrocities in the Philippines. Gano'n pala 'yon? Kapag nakipagbati ka sa nakaraan mo, sobrang laking tinik na ang nakawala sa dibdib mo?

Despite the deafness, despite the trauma, and despite the cruelty of life, God had directed me to where I am. I thank the Lord for the life I have. It may be harsh and cruel to me but the path I took had led me to the peace of mind I deserve. A little faith and prayer would do. But a big chunk of what my answered prayer consists of, is how I believe.

Sumuko na ako kakaisip pa ng mga masasamang bagay na nangyayari sa buhay ko. I instilled to my mind that only I can break myself and that I should change the way I think about the struggles in my life. Sa huli, kapag hindi ko inayos ang mindset ko, ako lang din ang magdurusa. I'd keep on holding myself back on the possible good things in life.

Go with the flow.

Rowan lifted his paw at my thighs, wanting to cradle on it. Napangiti ako sa ginawa ng aso at nagpaubaya. He jumped and tug himself to sleep while I patted his head.

"I am happy, Rowan." I smiled and looked up at the sky with millions of stars waiting for me to shine back to them. "Thank you, Lord."

Nanatili akong gising hanggang ala-una ng madaling araw bago nagpasyang matulog.

Rowan woke me up by licking my hand and then my face. Masaya akong nagising dahil sa ginawa niya kaya nagpaubaya akong dilaan pa niya ang kamay ko.

"You're too sweet, Rowan." I pouted at him, looking at the way he smile. How precious his smile is.

Naghanda ako ng aking agahan at sumagot sa iilang chat ni Kendra at Pia.

Ninang Talande:

Bele, my sugar mommy, please take me there to Switzerland. T^T