THE FORBIDDEN LIST (UNIPHANT)

Chapter 16

Ella's POV

KINABUKASAN

5am gising nako, tulog naman si Gabb sa bed.

I took my forbidden list again. At this exact moment I don't want to think about God, probably because I am ashamed of what I did but at the same time I don't want to consider what we had done wrong because it feels so right. I felt like this is the very first time that I really felt real to myself.

I wrote an x mark on number 1 which is premarital sex, and number 100 Gabrielle Skribikin with my red ballpen.

The truth is I don't feel bad at all. I feel like I can't stop smiling, what happened last night is just purely amazing.

Kumain kami mga bandang 8am. Ipinagluto ko sya syempre.

"..so, what do you want to do today Akin?."

"A-Akin?."

"Yeah. You said you're all mine last night. All mine." As she slowly rubbed my inner thighs. Hormones chill.

"I-I don't remember saying that."

"Hmm don't tell me you also don't remember what happened last night?." She smirked.

"You do know that this disrespects food right?."

"You mean this or--you?."

"Gabb--"

"Chill haha I'm kidding. Later pala sama ka sakin."

"San naman?."

"May party kina Kev."

"Party na naman?. Sana sino ba yang Kev?."

"Come on Ella, don't be such a KJ. And Kev is my former classmate, in elementary."

"Alam mo namang ayoko sa--"

"Okay, si Belle nalang isasama ko."

"W-wait. No."

"No? You mean--"

"I'm coming."

"Great! That's what I like about you!. Geez, I can't wait."

9pm.

"..sinabi ko na nga Gabb diba?. Ayoko." Pinipilit nya kasi akong uminom.

"Ella, isa lang. Drinking one bottle doesn't make you lassenga, I don't think that counts. Sige ka magtatampo ako sayo nyan." Tampo nito. At yun nga, another x mark na naman. Oh yeah there's two more pa pala because she made me wear this provocative dress and made me smoke. I hate it but I kinda enjoy this stuff.

Hindi ko namalayan na sunod sunod na pala yung parties na pinupuntahan namin gabi gabi. Sobrang saya ko kasi kasama ko si Gabb sa mga lakad na yun.

One night she took me up on a hill kung saan makikita namin ang isang napakagandang view. The lights of the houses and buildings at night. Hiniram namin ang kotse ng isang guy friend niya.

"..ang gandaaa."

"Have you ever seen yourself?." Sabi lang nito habang nakatitig sakin.

"Ayan ka na naman sa pambobola mo."

"I'm just telling the truth."

I sighed deeply.

"Gabb ano to?."

"Ang alin?."

"Ano tong ginagawa natin?."

"We're standing?."

"Hindi literal. I mean ano to? Bakit natin ginagawa to?. Ano ba tayo?."

"Bakit?. What do you want us to be ba?."

"I-I don't know."

"Ella, you know. Imposibleng di mo alam. Ella, gusto kita. Gustong gustong gusto kita that I can't even imagine waking up in the morning without you by my side. If you're worried about the consequences of loving me andito naman ako eh, paninindigan kita because I love you with no whys and buts. Kasi if love is supposed to be unconditional why do we still have to consider someone's biological sex before we love them?. Shouldn't we just love them regardless of what's in between their legs?." I should be opposing this but everything she said just felt so right or maybe I no longer know the difference between right and wrong anymore?.

We had a really fun time that night talking. Again, God is out of my mind and it's terrible to say the truth that I don't feel bad about it even a single bit. I feel like Gabb became my new everything. Sobra nya kong napapasaya that I thought of killing anyone who dares to take that away from me.

Pero isang umaga nagulat nalang kami nang marinig mula sa baba ang boses ng mommy ni Gabb.

"I'm hoooome!."

Napabalikwas kami at nagmadaling magsuot ng damit at inayos ang kwarto saka naman ako nagpanggap na tulog.

"M-ma andyan ka na pala."

"Pinagpapawisan ka--"

"Ah eh m-medyo mainit napo kasi rito."

"Buksan mo kasi yung bintana para pumasok ang hangin." Sabi ng mommy nya sabay bukas ng mga bintana.

"Ah Ma, baka po magising si Ella. Kumain na po ba kayo? Ipagluluto ko po kayo."

"Hmm. Totoo ba to? May pagbabago na sa baby Gabgab ko. I guess Ella did a good job."

"She certainly did. Sige na po. Akin na yan, magpahinga na muna po kayo, magpeprepare lang po ako ng breakfast. I'm sure pagod po kayo sa biyahe hehe." Sabi ni Gabb rito at lumabas na shutting the door behind her. Sa wakas nakahinga narin ako.

3pm. Lumabas si Gabb dahil inutusan sya ni Tita na mamalengke. Naglilinis lang kami ngayon ng bahay.

"..oo nga pala Ella, kamusta na ang mommy mo?."

"Po?. Ano pong ibig nyong sabihin?."

"I heard from your Tita Glo that her illness got worse. Nagchechemo parin ba sya?."

"I-I don't think I know what you're talking about po Tita."

"Bakit?. Di ba nila sinabi sayo?."

"Ang alin po?."

"That your mom has a breast cancer. Stage 3. Although it's curable but still risky."

When Tita said that that's when everything made sense. Dati palang kasi napapansin ko na that there's something wrong about mommy, that they're hiding something from me.

Para akong binagsakan ng eroplano sa puntong yun. Mom's suffering na pala pero wala akong kaalam alam. That's why they decided na iwan muna ako dito kina Gabb because they don't want me to know what's really going on. Maybe they don't want me to worry but this is completely unfair. I still deserve to know the truth.

"Tita, do you know where I could find them?."