The Last Teardrop (TS3)

Chapter 34

triggering word: suicide

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"Mr. Martin Chua committed suicide..."

It's been two days since the investigators disclosed to us the real reason of my father's death but I still couldn't accept it no matter how hard I try to. I don't even think I could ever accept it.

Tonight is his last funeral wake. It feels like I'm inside a bad dream I badly wanted to escape from. This isn't real! This couldn't be real!

"Love, let's go home? It's already late." Asher whispered to me. His arm was over my shoulders, as if protecting me from something.

"Can we stay here for tonight?" I uttered in a weak voice. My eyes wouldn't leave Dad's black casket in front. "This is his last night."

My eyes were swollen from crying everyday. My head was hurting because I've been awake and been sitting and watching here since this morning. I'm so afraid that Dad would suddenly vanish if I'd stand up and leave. I want to stay with him, even for the last time.

"Your Dad would understand if you'd go home tonight. I'm sure he'll be more mad if you'd force yourself to stay up tonight." I felt him caressed my baby bump. "You need to rest too. Please, love. Our babies need to rest."

I stared at my husband who's been with me since then and never left my side. He looked tired and stressed out, black shadows showing under his eyes.

"Ash... how about Dad?" My lips trembled.

"We'll go back here tomorrow. But for now, please listen to me as your husband and our babies' father. I know it's hard and painful but please... for your health and for our babies' safety, let's go home tonight."

Wala na akong nagawa nang marahan akong higitin ni Asher patayo. We took a long glance at my father before we walked outside. Maraming tao sa loob na nakikiramay. Our whole family was there. Lahat natutulala at hindi makapaniwala na wala na si Daddy.

Asher and I were both silent while we were in the car. Tulala ako sa mga sasakyang nadadaanan namin. I could feel Asher's gaze on me but he remained quiet.

Nang makarating sa bahay, we just cleaned ourselves and changed into our sleeping wear. My back was leaning on our headboard when Asher went out of the bathroom. He's drying his hair using his small white towel.

"You should sleep now, Sam." He said while sitting on my side. "Kailangan mong matulog na para maaga tayong makabalik sa funeral home."

Since the day we heard the reason of my father's death, I stayed silent and kept to myself what I've been feeling and what I've been thinking. Ngayon lang ako nagkalakas ng loob na buksan iyon sa asawa ko.

"Why did he kill himself? Why did he need to do that?"

Dad died due to medicine overdose. From the investigation done by the authorities, they learned from the CCTV footages and other evidences about what happened inside the library. There's no foul play. Dad committed suicide!

Ash sighed. He put the towel on the side table. "He loves your family, Sam. In time you'd understand why he did that."

I was already shaking my head even before he could finish his sentence, not agreeing to what he's saying.

"If he loves us then he'd realize that killing himself will only hurt us more. If he had problems in the company, he should have known that we'll always be willing to help him. His fight is ours too. But he chose to..." My voice broke that I couldn't finish what I was saying.