The Last Teardrop (TS3)

Chapter 13

Hiyang-hiya ako kay Czairina nang malaman niya lahat ng tungkol sa ginagawa namin ni Edzel. I felt so guilty for dragging them both into my mess. Pakiramdam ko, kahit tanggap ni Czai, still hindi tama na gamitin ko si Edzel to get away from my father's disappointment.

I was so selfish for letting my father think that there's really something going on between me and Edz. Kahit ilang buwan na ang nagdaan, hindi ko magawang bawiin sa kanya kung ano ang totoo.

It's still clear in my memory how proud he was when I was introduced as Edzel's girlfriend to their family. Kahit family ni Czai tuwang-tuwa dahil hindi nila inakalang ako ang 'girlfriend' ni Edzel. Just how would I take away the happiness I'd seen on my father's eyes? I don't know how to.

Kahit anong gawin kong paghahanda, kapag andoon na, umuurong ako palagi. Hindi ko magawang ibuka man lang ang mga bibig ko dahil bago pa man ako magsimula, Dad would always start greeting me and asking how is Edzel and I.

Pakiramdam ko dadalhin na ako sa empyerno dahil sa mga kasinungalingang ginawa ko. Dagdagan pa na tuwang-tuwa ang parents ni Edzel sa akin, lalo na ang mommy niya. They kept on inviting me to their mansion in Ilocos. Hindi ako makatanggi, kaya ginawan na lang namin ng paraan na lahat kaming magkakaibigan ay kasama noong nagbakasyon kami kena Edz.

Because I felt like I was using them for my own good, I then decided to tell them some important things about myself. Nakikinig lang si Andrew all the while since among them, siya lang ang nakakaalam ng totoong pagkatao ko.

"I'm the child of my Dad from another woman", I saw the shock on their expressions when I revealed that part. We're sitting around a bonfire and drinking some beer, "My mom was his mistress"

I heard the girls gasped a bit. I couldn't blame them, though. If I were on their shoe, I'd probably have the same reaction.

"That's why your mom is in Australia", Gerlie exclaimed after a couple of seconds. The boys were quietly listening to us, "I just thought that your family have properties in Australia that's why you often visit there"

"She has her own family as well", I smiled a little.

"How are coping up?", Miah's concerned voice surfaced the circle. She's looking at me with her soft expressions, "Why didn't I realize that Tita Monica isn't your mother? I mean, I've been into your house one time, I really thought that she's your mom"

"I'm fine", Am I? But I have no other choice but to be fine, "I mean, mom having her own family is totally fine with me. To be honest, I found it hard to accept at first but because of my siblings from her, I then realized that she also deserves to be happy. Her family in Australia keeps her going, and that's enough for me"

"How's your relationship with the Chua's?", I never thought that Andrew would actually join our conversation. Maybe because we haven't talk about our personal lives for quiet a long time now, he got no information about me anymore.

I closed my mouth, figuring out if I should tell them about it or not. But since we're already here, might as well tell something about it. Not to gain their sympathy but to totally welcome them in my life.

"Like the old times", I smiled bitterly while staring at the dancing flame, "They still don't want me to be part of their family"

I swallowed the lump on my throat, trying to stop the tears forming on my eyes. This is why I don't want to dig this part of my life. I was trying to hide the pain but whenever I'm sharing about myself, the pain would always surface and would start wounding me again.