The Last Teardrop (TS3)

Chapter 22

Seeing Czairina again after how many years brought different kinds of emotions inside. I missed her so much but I can't also set aside the sour feeling I had towards her for leaving us behind. Siguro sadyang matibay lang ang pagtatampo kaya iyon din ang umiral sa akin sa loob ng ilang araw.

Gerlie has been buried for a couple of weeks already yet I still couldn't accept that she already left us. Dagdagan pa na nagkukulong si Frankie sa unit nila, mas lalo kong naramdaman ang kawalan niya.

"Tita Sam, where is Tita Gerlie?" There's always a pinch in my chest whenever Eros asks that question. He's too innocent to understand that Gerlie is already gone. Kahit two years old na siya at matalinong bata, hindi naman kayang saklawin ng utak niya ang ganoong bagay.

"She's in heaven now, baby Eros. She's one of our angels who's looking after us."

"Why did she go to the heaven? Didn't she want to be with us anymore? Can I bring her cookies in heaven? Daddy bought cookies for me, I want to share it to her."

Gustong-gusto kong maiyak dahil parang pinipiga ang dibdib ko sa lahat ng sinasabi niya. Kung pwede lang natin siyang puntahan, kahit araw-araw nating gawin, Eros.

"Yung heaven, hindi lahat nakakapunta dun. We can only go there if we'll do good here on earth. And only... dead people can enter in that paradise."

"Bad people can't go there?" I nodded as an answer for his innocent question. "I am a good kid, Tita Sam. Daddy said I'm good because I'm not naughty. Does it mean I can go to heaven?"

Napasinghap ako sa tinuran niya. We're alone here in my unit and I'm losing words to make him understand the situation.

"You can go to heaven but not yet, Eros. You're too young. Only good dead people can go there. As of now, keep on being a good kid so you can see Tita Gerlie at the right time."

"Can't I see her now? I miss her so much, Tita Sam."

I bit my lower lip when my eyes was starting to feel hot due to the tears surfacing. I blinked a lot of times to prevent them from falling. Hinigit ko si Eros at niyakap ng mahigpit.

"I miss her too. And I'm sure that she misses you so much, Eros."

Sobrang dami niyang tanong. Hindi ko alam paano ko ipapaunawa lahat. Hanggang sa nakauwi si Edzel ng gabing yun, hindi pa rin nauubos ang mga tanong niya. He's even asking Edzel to visit Gerlie's unit so he could bring her cookies but Edzel told Eros that Frankie's already sleeping. Mabuti na lang at nakikinig si Eros kay Edzel.

More than month after Gerlie's death, we then agreed to celebrate her birthday in her grave. That's part of her death wish for us. Kasama rin 'yun sa sulat na ibinigay niya sa akin.

I was crying hard while I was reading her letter for me. Puro pasasalamat at habilin ang nakasulat doon. There's also a part where she said that I should learn to open myself to my friends, not to brag about my life but to welcome people into mine. Naisip kong tama lang na sinabi ko sa kanya ang tungkol sa akin bago siya nawala. Maybe that made her happy? Siguro kahit paano natuwa siya bago siya nawala?

"Frankie's still too quiet." Kahit nakikisama siya sa mga kaibigan namin lalo na sa mga lalaki, pansin pa rin ang pagiging tahimik niya. Madalas din tulala at pinipiling mag-isa.

"Let him, Sam. He's still grieving." Nilingon ko si Edzel sa gilid ko. He's playing with Eros in the pool. Tuwang-tuwa naman ang bata dahil mukhang na-miss maka-bonding ng ganito ang Daddy niya.