Kidnapper: I have your daughter.
Jesy: *panicked* Oh no, which one?
Kidnapper: Uh, the hungry one?
Jesy: Again I ask which one?
Kidnapper: I have the blonde. And I want 500 dollars or she dies.
Jesy: *checks her wallet* How about I trade you 15 dollars and an expired coupon for a couples massage?
Perrie: Hi Jesy! The person that brought me here just threw the phone at me and said leave. What does he mean by that?
~~~~~~~~
During a test
Jade: I don't know the answer to this.
Jesy: Oh fuck.
Leigh: We all failing.
Perrie: Welp there goes my GPA
~~~~~~~~
Perrie: Does poison get more poisonous when it expires or less?
Jade: I don't-I don't know.
Leigh: I'd assume it gets more poisonous. Therefore, I'm gonna go buy a bottle of rat poison and wait for it to go bad so we can test it out
~~~~~~~~
Jesy: There's no such thing as an unused mirror.
Perrie: *confused*
~~~~~~~~
Leigh: Every picture you take is technically a picture of your younger self.
Perrie: Shut up you're making my head hurt!
~~~~~~~~
Leigh and Jade: *reading a book and eating*
Jesy: *bursts through the door* I knew it you two were having sex!
Leigh: We are? Why didn't you tell me Jade? I would've put my nachos down.
~~~~~~~~
Jade: I wanna spice things up.
Perrie: Oh I'm allergic to chili.
Jade: No I meant in the bedroom.
Perrie: I doesn't matter where I eat it Jade, I'll still be allergic.
Jade: *annoyed* I want a divorce.
~~~~~~~~
Jade:Leigh, do you ever wonder what your future wife is doing?
Leigh: Yeah, what are you doing babe?
Perrie: Jesy, do you ever think about what your future wife is doing?
Jesy: Probably being a hoe.
~~~~~~~~
Perrie: I've only got 69 cents.
Jesy: *smirks*You know what that means
Perrie: *crying* I don't have enough for chicken nuggets.
~~~~~~~~
Pesy: We kissed once. But we won't get into it.
The fans: Pesy is real! What happened with leighade it's so dead?
Leigh: I wouldn't say it's dead. We climbed a mountain together.
Jade: And what happened on the mountain stays at the mountain.
Andre: *confused*
Jordan: *also confused*
Leighade: *smirks*
~~~~~~~~
Jesy being mother mix
The girls: *laughing*
The girls: *forgetting to breath*
Jesy: *looks up from phone* Breathe.
Leigh: We always forget to do that.
Jade: Thanks for reminding us.
~~~~~~~~
Jade: I'm cold.
Leigh: Here take my jacket.
Perrie: I'm cold too.
Jesy: Well I can't control the damn weather.
~~~~~~~~
Jesy: Hey Leigh, are you a big spoon or a little spoon?
Leigh: I'm a rock.
Perrie: She's serious. She kinda just curls up and she's welcomed to cuddles if you do it right.
~~~~~~~~
Jade: I can't believe you! And with Leigh of all people?!
Perrie: You're acting like you haven't done the same with Jesy!
Jesy: *slowly starts putting uno cards away*
Leigh: I think you two are getting a little too serious.
~~~~~~~~
Jade: Oh Jesy we found your to-do list yesterday.
Jesy: Thanks for returning it.
Jade: But all it says is Perrie.
Leigh: *from the kitchen* She wants to do her!
~~~~~~~~
Jesy: Can I have my hoodies back? It's cold.
Perrie: Can I have my virginity back?
Jade: Can I have my lack of obsession back?
Leigh: Can I have my heterosexuality back?
Jesy: You could've just said no.
YOU ARE READING
Little Mix Oneshots and Scenarios
FanfictionSince I commitment issues, writing a book about single events is easier for me. There might be smut, and it might be trashy.
