Atifa's pov:
The pain felt unbearable. It felt too much. Like something was prickling my heart, making me restless. Like someone took my heart out and shredded it into little pieces before putting it back in its place.
I wondered why it hurted so much. What my mistake was. And if every person who lost their closed ones felt the same, went through the same pain. It broke my heart when I thought of those who might have felt the same pain or had to go through the same thing.
It especially broke my heart when I thought of the pain our beloved prophet Muhammad S.A.W. might have gone through when he lost his beloved wife. He loved her so much and yet he had to let go of her. He had to live without her for the rest of his life. How hard must it be for him? How much pain did he have to endure in his life? He lost his mother at a young age. And he didn't even get to meet his father for once. He lost his grandfather just a few years after losing his mother. Did he not lose almost everyone close to him? How… how did he endure that pain?
Just thinking about it clenched my heart as an unknown pain tugged at it, engulfing me in its folds. Was this the pain which ammi had to go through when she lost abbu? Was this the same pain which I felt when we lost abbu? I- I wasn't sure. The pain, those painful moments had become just that. A distant memory. And even if I tried to think about it, I couldn't bring myself to feel the same thing once again.
If it was the same pain, this one felt much more intense. It felt much more surreal.
Why couldn't we just be together? Why did he have to face this test? What was our mistake? Was this our punishment for any of our sins?
If that's the case then please Ya Allah! Please forgive us! I don't think we would be able to take this pain anymore. I don't think I would be able to pass this test. And I don't want to fail in any of your tests. Please make it easy for me, for us. Please give us sabr Ya Rabbi. Please help us. Please be there for us. Clutching my hands closer to my heart, I cried as the pain intensified. How would I be able to handle this Ya Rabbi? How will we?
Closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths, I attempted to wipe my tears away while looking out of the window. Amira was here with me. And she needed me the most right now. But what was I doing? Wallowing in self pity and helplessness? This wasn't me, this wasn't how I should be.
If Allah Subhanahu Wa Taàla thinks that I would be able to handle this then I should believe myself. He wouldn't put me in any such situation where he knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. He doesn't burden us more than we can bear. I needed to keep reminding myself of this. I needed to hold on. I needed to have faith. I needed to believe that there is a reason behind everything and whatever was happening, there must be a reason for that too.
"Api." Amira gingerly touched my arm, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Hmmm..." I turned my face to look at her.
"I'm scared." Her voice was a light feathery whisper while her eyes were wide with anxiety and desperation. My heart cracked a little more at the sight in front of me, making me look away.
"Why meri jaan?" I pulled her closer.
(Why my life?)
"I don't know api. But… I- I feel sad. I feel lost. I feel bad. And… And I feel scared." Clutching my abaya, she hid her face in it.
"You trust Allah, don't you, princess?"
"Yes, I do." She replied, her voice coming out shaky, as if she was trying her best to control her tears.
"Then believe him. He wouldn't do anything without a reason. And this is just a test." I murmured, kissing her head.
"Will we be able to meet bhaijaan and Alayna again?" She looked up at me through her lashes.
YOU ARE READING
Unexpected Promises
Spiritual(EDITED) "Ok ma'am, maybe you are right. But what do you want from me? Why have you even kidnapped me?" I glared at her, annoyed. I can't believe I'm agreeing with her right now. "Oh nothing much baby boy, I just want you to get married to my daugh...
