Back To You [Completed] ✔

4. It's him!

I slipped into my loose white tees and denim with my long brown hair loose open and I was good to go for my weekend mission, that is shopping. It's once in a while when I gather all my courage to step outside my comfort zone of laziness on the weekend and go out to shop for some necessary stuff and today is the day.

I was walking on the street in between some people some passing by, some walking along completely lost in their world and so am I, sipping on my chocolate shake with music on my earphones when my eyes caught a glimpse of someone, a few steps away coming towards my direction while scrutinizing the papers in his hand. My heart skipped a beat and my eyes widened in shock.

"This can't be true" I paused the music. Maybe I am going insane now, maybe I'm thinking about him so hard that apart from dreams I now see him in strangers. I blinked hoping when I'll open my eyes I'll find another face there.

"It's him" I gulped. My throat went dry and suddenly everyone around him seemed blurred and the only thing I could focus on was his steps growing towards me.

This is actually happening. The moment I fantasized about in a hundred different ways, the moment I secretly wished for years, the moment I knew never was going to happen was actually walking towards me. It felt like the system of my whole body was messed up, I wanted to smile, but I could feel a tear at the corner of my eyes. I wanted to walk forward but my legs went numb. I wanted to witness this moment but a part of me said I was not yet ready, maybe everything was good the way it ended and our meeting again could mess up our new life.

I took a step back, whirled around, and started walking but a voice told me to turn back, maybe this was what was meant to happen and if I missed this chance I was going to regret it for the rest of my life. I turned around and bumped into a sturdy figure and it was him.

We just hit our pause button, no word, no action, and not even a breath. He was as shocked to see me as I was. There was the same disbelief in his eyes and it took him a couple of seconds to absorb the coincidence he just hit.

"Hazel!"

"Ed!"

__________________________________________________________________________

Before we could jump to "after a long time? "Question we realized, we were making it difficult for others to pass by. Ed's eyes went to a café across the street and immediately offered to move there.

"What are you doing here... New York?" I asked as we took our seats.

"I moved here last week, because of work"

"Oh...!"

"I work for a software company by the way," he said and I realized I actually needed that information, I was so busy processing his presence that I would've forgotten to ask him what he worked.

"That's ...nice"

"What about you?"

" uhh..me" "I got a job here last year" "In a publishing house" I added.

"publishing house?" "you took the writer in you quite seriously I guess"

"uhh.. it's just the reader one for the moment! ". I smiled

He still remembers that I used to write, strangely satisfying.

And then there was an absolute silence. None of us had any idea what to bring up next. Just some exchange of uncomfortable eye contact. I didn't know what was going inside his mind but what going inside mine was ALL HIM. I just wanted to keep looking at him, keep looking at that admirable face that I hadn't seen in years. The face is as handsome as it was when I first saw him in the hallway, however, it does not hold that 'star footballer 'or 'the famous Ed' charm but rather a flash of responsibility and maturity. Those green eyes which are now guarded by specs make him look more focused but those eyes still hold that warmth, the warmth he once had for me.

An elegant watch on his wrist, a simple off-white shirt wrapped around his torso, fine leather loafers and the trench coat resting on the chair defined perfectly his new identity as a software engineer yet the way his shirt wrapped around his tightened chest and vein-popping biceps showed how he still has that eye drooling body he had in high school. And all this time when I was downloading his new updates in my system his scrutinizing eyes explained he was doing the same . The way our eyes are stuck up on each other and our lips are sealed, the awkward tension screams we had a past together, a past we still hold on to but are too shy to talk about considering it immature.

"After a long time," I finally broke the silence.

"Yes...pretty long" "So how's life in New York?"

"It's been good so far...I mean sometimes it feels lonely but ...Surviving" I sighed a smile.

"Why lonely?" his brows furrowed "No one in life?"

I know exactly what he means by "no one" Why does he have to ask this question?

"No!" "Not in a while"

"not in a while...it means you had someone?"

Why is he digging into it Why does he even care now?

"uhh...I did have someone but...broke up."

"Why?" he popped the question immediately and then realized he seemed desperate "You don't need to answer that if you are not comfortable."

"He cheated"

Holy crap!! What did I just say? Why the hell did I just say it?

"ohh!..uhh I'm sorry," he said with extreme sympathy in his eyes, and in that moment, I felt good seeing a feeling in his eyes for myself made me feel GOOD.

Is this what he does to me? its been hardly 10 minutes since I saw him and here I was subconsciously lying just to see him being sympathetic towards me. This is not me, I've always hated sympathy but this is me who's feeling good about sympathy. His presence is making me vulnerable, he is changing me maybe his coming back into my life is not as good as I thought it would be. God knows what troubles he brought back in my life along with him.

"what about you?" this has to be my question. I don't know whether it's important for him to know about my relationship status but knowing about his is a top priority for me. "anyone?"

"No". His phone rang.

"uhh..sorry... I had some work stuff, I need to go"

"Sure... problem," I said with a smile but what my mind said was please stay a little more.

"see you later sometime," he said and gestured his hands for a hug with a bit of hesitation.

I was surprised and hesitatingly took a step forward to hug and when I did ...god!! That felt like a relief. I knew it wouldn't last long so I just closed my eyes to feel his warmth around me. it felt like something I was searching for a long time. His arms around me felt good.

We pulled out each other and took a breath. He looked straight into my eyes still standing so close to me and said" It was...really nice seeing you, Hazel!! bye".

"Bye"