Back To You [Completed] ✔

8. We are gonna end up together

When we were together everything seemed like rainbows and unicorns. Knowing that there is a person who loves you unconditionally is surely one of the most beautiful feelings ever and Ed made me live that one. We lived those cliché high school couple moments, passing love notes in the middle of the class, giving each other love glances, making out at a secret spot, and being all cozy in the cafeteria. Those 6 months were like a romantic movie every girl wants to be in and then....reality happened.

I knew what a relationship required –commitment, communication, loyalty and I was ready to give all those things but Ed's jealousy and over-possessiveness shadowed everything. I was happy to be his girlfriend but I couldn't only be His girlfriend...I had other roles in my life. Being with him...loving him was like losing myself and I wasn't ready for that. I felt like I was trapped...i wanted my space. So I did what I had to do.

Breaking up with him wasn't an easy task especially when the whole school got involved, all thanks to 'The famous Ed'. When he was convinced that I was not going to patch things up with him no matter what he said. He involved numerous people to convince me. Every day a person, who happens to be Ed's friend, and knew nothing about me would come to advise me ...and that was my breaking point. That was the thing that made me hate Ed. No one was ready to hear my side...all they said was Ed's a great guy, he loves you, don't leave him.

"Hazel. Listen to me" Ed came to talk to me one day amidst all this.

"I don't want to...there's nothing left to talk about"

"What have I done so wrong that you can't even stand my face?"

"What have you done?' I snapped...a voice inside me told me to spill out all today that has been boiling inside me. "how about the time when you made our relationship like a fucking trap that suffocated me, or about the time when breakup felt like the only thing that could set me free, or about the time when you couldn't accept the fact that I dumped you and involved people who don't give a fuck about me to give me advice on my personal matter. You made a fucking show of our relationship, of my decision, of me. That's what you've done."

He drew in a breath, processing what I said and I guessed he finally understood my side.

"You're right. I'm an idiot...I shouldn't have done all this. I just" he stammered a bit while the side of his eyes twinkled with the appearing tear "I did everything that came into my mind whether it made sense or not...because I was desperate to not lose you...because  ... I love you"   "I can still make it right... I would do anything you say, I'll change myself. No arguments, no..." his hands grabbed my arms slightly in an attempt to not let me go.

"Ed..."

"No fights, I'll give you all your space. You would not feel suffocated"

"Ed...Ed I don't want...any of that anymore" I managed a cold tone.

"But how?... How can you give up on us like this...you loved me ...right?" now his eyes could not weigh the load of pain that he felt and a tear slid down his cheek.

"I did...yes, I did.."   "But we are different ...we are not compatible when we are together."

"and I'm saying that I'll change"

"That's the thing, Ed...I don't want you to change...I don't want you to change and then be with you...because that's not love." He avoided my sight but I cupped his face between my palms "Look at me...one day you're gonna find a girl who's gonna adore you as you are. She's gonna give her all to you. I am not that girl...I can't give you that...ever.....understand."

He gulped...and I assumed his silence meant that he finally understood what I was trying to say and we would end this thing on a good note, doing what was best for both of us. But I was wrong.
"no...I am not gonna let you do this...this compatibility and all...it's just bullshit...we are going to sort this out and we are gonna end up together."

"god dammit, Ed...I don't want anything from you" I squeaked, everything I just said didn't change a bit ...he was still stubborn and It left me infuriated . "it was just a silly high school romance...get over it.": I jerked away and didn't bother to look behind for a second.

I guess my outburst did work out or my words hit him too hard, either way...he never tried to talk to me about patching, about anything.
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I was in my office, reviewing a research paper and my phone rang. The screen read 'Ed', I was surprised at myself, how the super hectic day and pressure of loads of paperwork vanished in a fraction of seconds and my whole face lit up as soon as I saw that name on the screen.

"hey!"  I picked.

"where are you?"

"at work?"

"I'll pick you up at 8, we are going to a carnival"

"Carnival? What are we 12?" I chuckled and could imagine him rolling his eyes on the other side. "I got work Ed"

"We are not gonna be there forever. You can do your work later."

"since when are you so obsessed with carnival"

"ugg....why is it always so difficult to persuade you"  "You kinda owe it to me...if you remember"

What am I missing? What did I owe him that I don't remember? I've played all our memories on repeat all these years and anything related to a carnival never made an appearance.

"We had a plan that we would go on a carnival date but...you broke up before we could execute it" he said taunting.

I actually didn't remember ...and my heart did a little dance on the fact that there is something that he remembers to this day, remember enough to do it.....complete it now.

"so....at 8 ...down your office"

"ok!"