Back To You [Completed] ✔

11. The first thing you tell me is a lie

"I select the movie and you select the food.....settled."

"Okay! But I hope you don't struggle choosing a movie like you do with the food" "Because we don't have all the time in the world" Ed mocked as he settled on the couch beside me.

"I don't...that's why food is your section" I stated.

"my phone is dead. Can I use yours to order?"

"yeah!" "I'll be back from the loo"

After the carnival adventure, my mind was wandering back and forth for ways to compensate Ed for the time I was not there. I was not obliged to, not now, not back then because I had my valid reasons for separating myself from him, and with it, the responsibility of being there for him was eliminated automatically and there's a possibility that the High school Hazel would not feel this lump of guilt that I am feeling right now and she would curse me and slam me with questions that why am I feeling this way. I wish I had those answers.

When Ed mentioned he was struggling with work hours and unpacking and settling into his new apartment, I immediately volunteered to help him. It was unintentional and stupid to invite me and I don't know if he invited me willingly or just wanted to spare me the embarrassment. Either way, I am here at his place tonight.

I walked into the living room and saw him standing on the balcony.

"Ordered yet?"

He looked at me puzzled while his expressions closed up. My phone clenched tightly in his hands.

"Didn't you say your boyfriend cheated on you?"

Where did that come from? Why is he asking me this out of the blue? I gulped as I knew it was a lie, it was an unplanned, unintentional lie that I never thought would surface again and I never planned how would I back it up if ever asked again.

"yeah...yes!" I said hesitatingly.

"then why is Mia texting you that 'I don't understand why you lied to him about Finn cheating on you when he is the actual reason you broke up' "

Oh my god! This is messed up ...big time.
Mia and I were texting about the whole Ed situation and she sent the exact message that Ed mustn't have seen.

"care to explain?" he said in a cold voice as a reminder that I still have to answer and I have no idea how to get out of this situation.
Should I tell him the truth right away? NO ...he must not know about my stupid obsession regarding him. He would laugh at me for holding on to him.

"it's none of your business Ed and give me my cell back" That's the only smart reply I could think of.

He stepped back as I reached for my cell and hid it behind his back. "It would've been none of my business if my name wouldn't have been on this text."   "it's my place to know"

He is right. If I would've been in his place. I would be dying to know what involves me. But I was still silent.

"you meet me after years and the first thing you tell me about you is a lie" he gripped my palms and banged the cell on it.

The look in his eyes was no longer warmth it was more of a disappointment. And I could not stand it, it was eating me. He whirled around and started walking away. I have to stop him. There is no time to fabricate a new lie. Only truth can stop him.

"he found out a letter!" I blurted out and he stopped. He didn't turn back to me yet and I prayed that he doesn't. Because what I was about to say was the revelation of my absurdity and I had no courage to say it to his face. Not with the fear of embarrassment.