Back To You [Completed] ✔

17. My stubborn love for you

He has a girlfriend, a serious relationship, so serious that she is moving into a whole different city for him and he hasn't uttered a word about her since I met him. This is the reason I was just a one-time thing.
I snapped out of my retrospection when the doorbell rang.

It's Ed.

"What are you doing here so late Ed? Your girlfriend won't approve" I taunted.

"I'm here to talk," he said submissive to my taunt.

"I think we've had enough talking this morning" I began closing the door.

He pressed a hand to the door. "I know...I" he let out a breath "let's just...hear me out once"
I stepped aside opening the door.

There was a tsunami of questions wavering inside me, but I waited for him to speak.
I've been enough desperate to ask all the questions till now...it was high time that he answered them.

"I am sorry!" he said first leaning against the settee facing me. "I should've told you about her" he then straightened up as if to prepare for to what say next. "I just want you to forget all that happened....and stay out of my relationship with Ester. I'm happy with her and she loves me. I don't wanna ruin it."

I felt an infuriated twinge in my chest and I couldn't figure out the reason that caused it. was it because he hid such a big thing from me or kept me in the dark while he played with my feelings or because he said that he was happy in his relationship and whatever happened between us doesn't mean a thing to him?

"Is it okay?" he raised his brows expectantly.

"No!" I snapped. "It is not okay Edward. Your lying to me is not okay. Playing with me is not okay. Behaving as if nothing happened is not okay and expecting me to forget all that happened and move on. IS NOT OKAY."

"I know I made a mistake Hazel. I feel like shit...I am ashamed and I AM SORRY." He gulped and then gathered words that gain felt like he was preparing. "I...I've been around Ester for a long time and when I didn't find her around for the first time in these years, I slipped and went along with ....with the fun."

"FUN?" I squeaked and sighed a laugh. "What you were doing wasn't fun Ed. It was not like we were flirting around in an affair. What I saw in your eyes was not fun" I stepped towards him and gritted my teeth. "I can't believe I was in love with a jerk like you for all these years. You're such a hypocritical man. You're coming here to be a saint for your relationship after cheating on your girlfriend. Remember how you reacted when you found out that I lied about my breakup? It was nothing compared to what you did. YOU meet me after years and the first thing you tell me is a lie." his patience was wearing off and he tried to look away but I poked in his chest to make him keep looking. "Tell me Ed, why did you lie? Why didn't you tell me you were dating? Why? Why?"

"Because of you!" he grabbed my arms aggressively. "Because of my stubborn love for you. My resting love that shook awake the moment I saw you again." We were both holding our breath as we looked at each other He released his grip took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face.

"You were my first love, Hazel. And I thought it would be easy to forget you after we parted our ways. But ...but your absence never helped me to forget you and no matter who I met...I knew I would never meet somebody like you and no matter who makes me feel good or happy ...no one would ever make my heartbeat like you did. And after all those years when I saw you again...my heart felt that again and hell knows what took over me that I lied to you about not dating after you told me that you were single." His eyes welled up just like mine. "And trust me. Every day...every time we met I thought of telling you. But the way you looked at me...and the way were around each other ... I knew it would all go away the second I tell you. I became greedy for you. And when I finally made up my mind to tell you ...you said you love me. And do you think that after all these feelings in my heart when you spoke out your love for me I would've resisted? I didn't. I couldn't."

I could feel my heart taking a deep sigh of relief at the words he said. I took his face between my palms. "Then why resist now? Why fight it now Ed when we are finally on the same page."

Suddenly the warmth from his eyes flashed away and he moved my hands away from his face.

"Because you don't know what I have with Ester and I don't expect understanding it from a girl who threw away her 3-year relationship over a stupid letter."

And he hammered my heart again.

"I ...I threw it away because of you. You know that"
"And I never asked you to" "You have a habit of breaking hearts of people who pour their love for you. Ester fixed the pieces you broke. She made me overcome my heartbreak. She made me feel wanted. She made me realize how happy I can be....the happiness I deserve. She loves me and I am not going to break her heart."
He began walking out, after everything he said, he made his choice clear, Ester. But something inside me flamed. It didn't focus on his choice instead replayed all he said about his STUBBORN LOVE FOR ME.

"Will she still love you when she finds out you cheated on her?"

He stopped.

"What?" he faced me.

"Would she still love you then?"

"You wouldn't do that. You are not like that." I know I am not like that. But lately, I am not like myself...I don't know what effect you have on me.

"You can lie because of your love for me. I can speak the truth because of my love for you." I said in a voice that was foreign to me.

"NO YOU WON'T." He glared into my eyes.
"Listen to me, Hazel. If you love me as you say, you would do no such thing. DON'T"

He slammed the door behind him as he walked out.