Back To You [Completed] ✔

26. As long as both shall live

I stood in front of the mirror adjusting the cuff of my shirt.

One month has passed. She said she was leaving my life and she did. That was the final goodbye. I can't believe ...I had her so close to me and let her go....well...it is not right to think of her on my wedding day.

Dad walked in as I put on my suit. "You ready son?"

"Yeah!"

"not yet" he took out a flat rectangular box and handed it to me. It was a pocket-handkerchief coordinated with my suit, a gift from him.

He took it out and started placing it in my pocket.

"Dad?"

"umhmm"

"You truly loved Mom right?" he looked up with a smile and confusion probably thinking why I was asking such a thing.

"Yeah...I did"

"and then you found someone who loved you...As you" I asked referring to Sophia. The woman he married a few years after his divorce.
"I did...luckily"

"what if .....even after you two got divorced....mom would've come to you...saying she loves you...more than before...and she doesn't care anymore about being different and incompatible stuff...what you would've done"
"Ed....we fall in love...many times with many different people...but there's only one person who is your ...favorite...who makes your heart beat like no other...in my life...your mom is that person."

"So...you're saying that... if she would've been back...you...would've.....accepted her as if nothing happened...as if she never hurt you?"

"Listen son" he sighed a breath. "If you're lucky...you get to find the person who is ready to change themselves for you...for example, take the other side of the bed for you. But you're even luckier when you get to be with the person for whom you're ready to give up your side of the bed. Because...that's what true love is...giving a part of you for another person's happiness ...and it doesn't make you less....it completes you...it makes you even happier. If I had a second chance...I would've given up my side of the bed forever for your mother...happily."   "I hope Ester is that favorite person?"

I nodded.
Is she?

______________________________

I watched Ester as she walked down the aisle in her beautiful white attire holding the bouquet...looking buoyant and gleeful. Our families on either side with the same happiness in their smiles.

She stood before me at the altar as the priest started the ceremony.


Do you Edward Windsor, take Ester William to be your lawfully wedded wife, promising to love and cherish, through joy and sorrow, sickness and health and whatever challenges you may face, for as long as you both shall live?

As long as both shall live.

I kept gazing at Ester, she looked at me in a way that there was no doubt she wanted to be with me as long as both shall live. But was it the same with me? Forever with her?

Telling them you love them while your heart belongs somewhere else. It ends up badly, especially for them.
I've been doing this for a long time now but am I ready to do this forever?

I am lucky to find a person who is ready to give her side of the bed. But will that make me happy? Forever? I have the chance unlike my father to find my real happiness so why am I running from it?

"Ed?" Ester snapped me out of my train of thought.

"Sorry"

"wh....what?"

"I can't do this Ester....to you or me... telling you a sweet lie when my heart belongs somewhere else. Especially when I had my chance."
I saw the smile fading away from her lips and a tear trying to roll down her eyes.

I grabbed her hands. "I know Ester it hurts now. It's my fault. But you've been so good to me for such a long time...you made me smile and...and with all your dedication and commitment...you don't deserve me.....I can't do this to you ...keep you in the dark until it shadows our relationship or...or our marriage after few years ...it would her hurt even more then...knowing that there was a chance to make it all stop but I didn't just to spare the heartbreak."  "I'm sorry"

I paced out of the church and I knew what I had to do next.