Memories of a stolen life (Bucky Barnes x reader)

8. The first mission

For the next couple of weeks you found yourself training with the 'Winter Soldier' everyday. Your skills set grew fast and it wasn't long until you became a worthy opponent against the Sergeant during combat practice. Still the more time you spent with him the more something felt off about him. He almost felt familiar. His voice was like an echo from the past. You where frustrated. Fighting with yourself and your thoughts everyday. Nothing could take away the fact you where loyal to HYDRA but there always felt like....well you don't know. You felt unhinged and you didn't know why but you didn't tell anyone. Although your allegiance lies with HYDRA you still obtained the instinct of survival and you knew by telling them you weren't performing at your best they may decide to dispose of you as a failed experiment.

One morning as you get prepared for another day of training Sergeant turns up at you chamber. "There will be no training today" he states "You have been assigned to my mission today, you will find your uniform in the weapons department. Suit up and meet me in the controls centre for your briefing"

Just as he began to walkout the room he stopped as you asked him "do you have to wear that thing all the time? I mean wearing that mask must hurt, can you even breathe under it?"

He looked at you "I have my orders from HYRDA, I wear it around you and on missions and you can take pleasure from finding out what it's like to wear when you put one on for your missions. We need to keep our identities a secr-" before he could finish you interrupt him.

"Why? who's going to recognise us? who's going to remember us?" you explained in a moment of anger.

"Agent (Y/s/n)  I recommend you stop thinking about such things, I doubt you want to give me the impression that you refuse to comply with our superiors" he states dominantly as we walks off down the hallway. You sit at the edge of your bed staring at the ground. You nearly let your guard down. He mustn't know, no one can. The experiments HYDRA carried out on you weren't working. Half of you where loyal to them and the other half wanted to burn this place to the ground but no matter how hard you tried the idea of staying loyal to HYDRA overpowered anything else you wanted to do. It must be so much easier for the Sergeant' you thought to yourself. 'He was completely loyal, I mean, I know they got rid of everything that once made him himself but...at least he wasn't fighting with himself about what he thought was right and wrong. He can just do what he's told without hesitation'.

You realise it's about time you moved and went to suit up. You didn't know what would happen if you didn't comply with HYDRA's orders but you also didn't want to find out.

In the weapons department you found a black leather jumpsuit. After putting that on you put a bullet proof vest over the top with the HYDRA logo on the inside. You tied your long brown hair into a straight slick ponytail as you looked down onto the tables next to you where a mask sat. It was like his only smaller to fit your face. You didn't put it on yet, you wanted to spend the least amount of time wearing it as possible.

As you head into the controls centre you find Sergeant standing over a table. "Took your time" he said in his deep voice. "The mission isn't a tricky one. We need to break into a secured facility"

"To get what?" You replied before he could say anything else. He stopped and looked up at you "that's on a need to know basis". 

"And I don't need to know?" You bounce back sarcastically.

He takes a deep breath in and stands moving his head to make eye contact with you. His blue eyes watch you as you begin to intimidate you and force you to look away. "No, you don't need to know" he breaks the silence "HYDRA don't trust you yet and neither do it, there's something up with you, you don't act like a soldier. You act free willed like you have a choice. You get me in and out of this building alive and I will take care of the rest, do I make myself clear?" He says as he continues to move closer to you until he's standing so close you have to look up to see his face.

He was on to you, you knew yourself that you weren't 100% loyal to HYDRA and he knew it too. "I understand" you spit out in a hopes to portray the idea you where compliant but you knew he wasn't buying it.

"We leave at o'eight hundred" he says as he begins to exit the room.

"Where are we" you say as he stops at the sound of your voice. "I'm about to help you break into a facility but I don't even know where I am". There is silence for a second before he says "Siberia" and continues out of the room.

How the hell did you get to Siberia you think to yourself. You where in New York City and some how they got you to Siberia all with being unconscious. HYDRA really put the effort in for someone who supposed to just be a test subject.