Memories of a stolen life (Bucky Barnes x reader)

5. The end of your memories

Weeks went by. You where in and out of different rooms. What felt like hundreds of tests went on. Over time you began to get the sense that the experiments had worked since you hadn't died yet nor had they killed you. Every time you where taken in for tests you would ask about Bucky. You didn't know what had happened to him since Doctor Zola told you he had been captured. What's worse is you thought of the most horrible stories of what could have happened to him while you stared at the four walls of your chamber.

One day, just like the rest, some guards came to retrieve you for what you thought was more testing. You gave up fighting ages ago and just accepted that this was your new life. Like usual as soon as you saw Doctor Zola you begged him to tell you what happened to Bucky except this time he answered "Dead".

Your heart stopped for a moment, you where unprepared for that response. In fact your where unprepared for any response other than a aggravating chuckle.

"W-what do you just say?" You question him.

"He's dead. He fell from one of my cargo trains while trying to infiltrate it. It's too bad he would have been a good next experiment" he smiled to himself.

You could barely believe what you where hearing. A buzzing in your ear began as your mind became clouded with questions and emotions. Before you knew it tears where streaming down your face.

Doctor Zola noticed your fragile state and began speaking again "Don't worry dear, all these emotions and feelings that cloud your judgement will soon be gone. Granted I didn't think you would survive this experiment but why stop now since it's been such a success plus we have someone new lined up to follow this same experimental process so we want to make sure they will make it".

In all honesty you didn't care what they did next. Everything you once had was lost and the love that you still hold, the love that was getting you through your days here was dead. It was a feeling you never thought you would have to experience with all the promises you made to each other. How he used to say he would always come back to you. Now he never will.

"Do what you want, I don't care" you said in a broken tone.

"See what did I tell you at the very start. You will comply. Now, let's begin." He continued. "You may have all the strength that a super soldier needs but you don't have the mind for it. We will be erasing your memories. Your compliance is our top priority and we cannot assure it without carrying out the necessary procedures".

You looked up at him barely in shock of what he was going to do next. They had done just about everything else under the sun to you. What's a bit of mind control? Maybe it will be better you tell yourself. You won't remember Bucky. The pain will go away. NO what where you thinking. You don't want to forget him. You just want everything back to normal. Everything was a mess and your thoughts where scrambled in to a thousand pieces. It didn't matter what you thought now. He was going to do it anyway like he has everything else.

Two guards come up and place your battered and bruised body into a leather chair. Two metal straps came out of it and encaged you into the seat. A guard held out a mouth guard and you looked at Doctor Zola.

"You will need it" he said "this is going to hurt"

You put the mouth guard into your mouth as you try to get as comfortable as possible. No amount of physical pain would beat the mental pain you where feeling for the loss of Bucky...right? Wrong.

These two electric head peace's come down over you and began to what only could be described as fry your brain. You tried to scream but the mouth guard stopped you. You felt numb. Your whole body numb in pain and you could feel your memories slipping away. The pain was so overwhelming you began to feel faint and the last thing you could feel was the break fo your heart and the pain on your head before you passed out in the seat.