60 days of learning love ✔️

Part 8

Noah POV

The drive home was kind of exhausting. I've used up way too much energy today. What even happened to me today?!? And I talked to the hot waiter, why did I do that? That's so embarrassing!

But why should I be embarrassed, I'm not even gay.

Okay, fine. Maybe it's time to stop denying the fact that I like girls and a few guys. But I'm not gay! It's impossible, and dangerous and just stupid. For me anyway.

My family, my parents, my life is built around the word "perfect". I fucking hate it, but I have to deal with it until I have enough money to move out. If I get below an A on a test, my car gets taken away for a month. If I forget to do my homework, my phone gets taken off me until I complete it. And if I have anything other than a girlfriend, start planning my funeral.

And I'm being serious. My father sat me down after school one day, I was expecting a lecture on being perfect, but what I got instead was so much worse. He kept asking me the same question over and over and over and over again. "are you gay?".

The first couple of times, I didn't answer because I was confused, but because I didn't answer he wrote on a piece of paper, "no dinner for a week". When I asked why he was asking, he wrote "take his bed and replace with just mattress". So I just ended up saying no to his continuous question, and then he hit me around the face. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to be gay, or if he thought I was lying to him. My question was answered when he said...

"son, if you were gay you would be out on the street, no food, no shelter and no parents to give a fuck about you. So you better promise me right now that you will never kiss another boy or man, you will never fantasise about another boy or man, you will never flirt with another boy or man and you will never indulge in sexual activities with another boy or man. If you do any of these things, you are no longer my son, and you are no longer part of this family that I have tried so hard to keep perfect. If you are anything less than perfect, than you are better of dead. And if you are gay, sending you into the streets is too kind, so I'll kill you myself".

Oh, I should mention that at this time, I was 12. And I was also crushing on a dude named Keiran. I also didn't really know what gay meant. I was terrified and I never thought about Keiran again. And then I forced myself to never think about any guy, ya know, to make my father proud.

And after his whole speech, I promised him. And I'm regretting it so much. I would rather had died then, then be forced into a perfect, not so perfect, life.

Thank fuck I have Olivia!

Anyway, I just got home and I'm already running up the stairs to hide in my bedroom. And luckily I was successful. Luck's a funny thing, because technically we're all lucky everyday as long as we survive for the 24 hours. Because a single object could cause someone to die. Ya know, butterfly effect and all that. But people only call themselves lucky after they realise their luck.

Why am I even thinking about this shit? I'm more tired than I thought. I've started to turn philosophical, send help!

Ya know what, maybe it is time to sleep and think about all the embassing stuff I ended up doing today. Like talking to coffee shop guy. Belting out Disney music. Getting exited over a romance. Stuffing my face with popcorn. Oh, and would you look at that, all this thinking is causing me to not sleep. Wow. Didn't expect this. (This is sarcasm)

Fuck sleep. Fuck life. Fuck family. Fuck this house. Fuck being perfect. And fuck you for your lack of sympathy.

I'll just go on my phone until its time to leave for school. I'll read some books on Wattpad, straight stories obviously. Not gay at all. Never. Never read a single gay story in my life...

Ooooh, "Photoshoot"! Now that a good story, it's incomplete but I've read this over several times already! The love story between Alex and Keiran is adorable. You should read it if you haven't already, and I'm totally not promoting my own story... Fine, maybe I am.

But it's going to be a long night. And even though I'm exhausted, I can't sleep. What the fuck is this?!?

~7 hours later~

Finally! I can start getting ready for school!! I'll have a shower first, then I'll put my uniform on, and then I'll read more. Maybe watch some tiktok. And then I'll leave and use mine and Olivia's money to get some coffee, then I'll pick Olivia up and drive us to school for another boring day.

And so that's what I started doing. I had a shower and put my uniform on, and then I wasted the rest of the time reading. And now I'm sitting in my car, ready to drive to Rox.

Oh shit. I nearly forgot about the hot waiter. It's fine. Don't panic Noah. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. He's just an insanely hot dude that you embarrassed yourself in front of yesterday. Not a big deal. Not a big deal at all. Nope. Not even a mildly big deal. Not even a deal.

Fuck.

Too late to turn around now, since I'm already in the cafe parking lot. Deep breaths Noah. And 3...2...1.

I'm outside my car. There's no going back now. Well, technically there is. I could just go pick up Olivia now and get the school coffee. The disgusting coffee. Yeah, fuck that. I would rather embarrass myself than drink that shit. Ew.

Here I go. One step, two step, three step, four step, five step, six step, seven step, eight step, nine step, ten step, eleven step, twelve step, 13 step..........

17 steps and I'm through the door. Wait, was I counting outloud, I don't think I was, I could be wrong.

"hey Noah"

Was I counting outloud? If I was that would be hella embarrassing and it would prove to people how much of a sad loser I am. Well, I am pretty sad but not in the emotional sense, maybe a little in the emotional sense.

"Noah?"

Okay, yeah, I'm always being a geek or a nerd, which causes me to be bullied. My father is a prick and my mother doesn't care about me. As long as I'm perfect I'm fine. How many times am I going think about my perfect life today? People would think I had some sort of mental illness, like depression. I don't. Obviously.

"Noah!" a voice called. I had been standing in front of the door this whole time. Ugh! Wait, who was that shouting my name.

I looked towards the person smiling at me and instantly felt the heat the rush into my cheeks. How does the hot waiter know my name? And why is he smiling at me? And why is his smile so damn attractive?

I walked towards him and I didn't dare look up from the floor. This is even more embarrassing than last night!

"Morning Noah, glad to have you back" I could hear the slight tease in his voice. His kind, modulated, slightly smokey voice. How many times can a boy blush?

"Morning" I said, in my much less attractive voice. He chuckled and began making the coffee since he already knows my order.

"Tyler" he randomly said.

What does he mean by Tyler? Is there another staff member called Tyler and he's trying to get their attention? Is there another customer? Why say a random name, is it some sort of game he plays with the customers?

"That's my name". Oh, right. Of course. What the hell is wrong with me to think that he was playing a weird game.

"oh, cool, I'm Noah" I said awkwardly as per usual. But then I mentally face palmed upon realising that he already knew that. He chuckled again.

"I know" even though I wasn't looking at him I could hear the smile in his voice.

He turned back to face me and then he handed me the coffee, I handed him the money and tried to make a less embarrassing exit.

"See ya later Noah~"

Fuck. He's not good for my heart. Now I'm a blushing mess. Ugh! Stupid Tyler. I made my way back to my car and started the engine, and then I smiled like a teenage girl in love.

"Tyler", I like that name. It suits him.

Anyway, time to pick up Olivia.