60 days of learning love ✔️

Part 23

Mia POV

Walking away from Olivia was the hardest thing I'd had to do. I don't even know why I did it!

I'd spent the entire morning with her, holding her hand, and it felt like heaven. Maybe not as great as kissing her felt like, but it was still amazing. And out of everyone she has in her life, she chose to call me. How amazing is that!?

My family say that my crush on Olivia is extremely unrequited, and for a couple of years I actually believed them. Well, back then it probably was true, but now, I'm not so sure. I mean, she's actually smiling around me now!

I get that I was a complete bitch to her throughout most of our lives, but that was literally the only way she would ever let me be close to her. I know, it's a sad life. But ever since elementary school, Olivia has been different towards me, and that's why I like her so much. I'm used to all these fake girls surrounding me for having money, and for being "pretty", and Olivia was never like that, and I admired her so much for it. Whereas I became a fake girl too.

Olivia was the only one that showed who she truly was. The clothes I wear, the style I choose, the makeup I put on, it's all to make me feel like I'm a part of something. Being like all the other girls makes me feel safe. But Olivia, she is nothing like that. She's beautiful, confident, unashamed, and so inspiring. I like her so much and I'm not afraid to admit it.

Which is why I feel like the worst person in the world right now.

Her best friend, and boyfriend, had gone missing, leaving her a note that only said "I'm sorry" and from what I saw of him yesterday, his mind was all over the place. So of course, when she called me asking for help, I quickly got ready for school and I tried my best to help her. And now that he's been found, I ditched her to feel safe again.

It's not that Olivia makes me feel unsafe, it's just the idea of Olivia that makes me feel unsafe. Being around someone who has that much power and control over how they are, could make me an outcast. Because even though nobody will ever tell her, she's the most beautiful person at this school, and her confidence makes her powerful and the rest of us are jealous. Which is why she was cast aside. It's not fair, I know. And I didn't even stand up for her, and I can't even stand up for her now even though we're...friends?

I don't even know what she thinks of me, but I would like her to think of me as a friend, and maybe some day, she'll think of me as more.

It's hopeful thinking, but I'm literally the world's biggest simp.

I just want to turn around and hold her hand again, but I'm so afraid of what that will do to me.

Also, I keep completely forgetting she has a boyfriend, and that's probably going to get me into trouble one day.

I feel so guilty for forcing her into a relationship like that. I could tell that they weren't really together, since I'd never seen her with him before, but the green monster of jealousy just turned up and then I made a mistake. When she said that she loved him, something inside me broke, and I wanted to murder the poor kid. Okay, maybe not murder, but you get what I mean. And after hearing her fake confession and then his fake confession, I let jealousy take hold of me, and now, they are actually falling in love.

Karma is a bitch.

And if I could, I would take back everything I said. But I can't, because the whole school already knows about it, and they are determined to see it fail.

I'm a bitch, karma is a bitch, Olivia is kind of a bitch, Tyler looked like a bitch, every single one of my friends is a bitch, Noah is a sad bitch.

We're all just bitches. But I feel like the worst bitch ever.

I just have to survive the rest of this day, and then I'll go see Olivia after school, only if she doesn't hate me by then.

I wouldn't blame her if she did.