Survivor

31. Is That Right?

It was a couple of days later, and Sara was still in the hospital. Lacy had been moved to a room across the hall from me and had joined me at the high school for the rest of our senior year. Her arm was still in a sling, but Doc promised it was only for a few more days.

Sara would be coming home probably tomorrow and would be in the room next to Lacy, so they could have connecting rooms, like Aedyn's and mine.

"Bobbi, can I talk to you about something?" Lacy nervously adjusted her backpack, flung over her good arm.

"Always, Lace, what's up." I closed my locker and turned to face her.

"Um, in private. Please." I nodded and pulled her over to the bathroom, and we waited for a second for the last girl to leave.

"You can tell me anything, you know. You don't have to worry about being ashamed or something." I put my head on her shoulder as we looked at each other in the bathroom mirror. 

"No, I know, I just didn't want anyone to overhear us." She took a deep breath and picked at her fingernails.

"I think I might want to reject my mate." I looked at her in absolute shock. 

"Cole? What? But why? He didn't hurt you did he? Is everything all right?" She started crying and frantically wiped the tears off her cheeks. 

"No, everything is perfect, and that's the issue. He's literally perfect. I mean, just look at him." She half-laughed. "He's literally built like a god, and he's so kind and sweet, and I'm just- I'm just me." She sunk her head down, her face hidden by her hair. 

"I can't even bring myself to touch him. Every time I think about it, I see Jess's eyes staring at me as she died. As her mate killed her. I see it in my dreams, too. And he doesn't deserve that." She was yelling, her cries hysterical. "I-I, I mean he deserves better than that! I mean if we were a normal couple, we probably would be marked and mated by now, and I'm just holding him back!" 

I brought her into my arms, my heart breaking for her as she sobbed. 

"Lace, it's only been a few days, no one would expect you to move on as if nothing happened. Besides, Aedyn and I met like 2 months ago, and we're still not mated. And he still isn't pushing me." Lacy sniffed and wiped her nose. 

"But that's different, Bobbi. Aedyn knows about what Luke did to you. He's obviously not going to push you. I, on the other hand, don't have a reason to not be mated. I kept telling myself just to do it and get it over with, but I couldn't and I just kept freezing the moment I thought I got the courage." Her tears came back, running mascara down her face. "So why shouldn't I reject him? Then he can mate with someone else, and I can not worry about making him happy."

"Why are you in such a rush? I mean, look at you! You just got out of the hospital. You still have a sling for your arm for crying out loud! How were you even going to mate with your arm shredded like that? And you shouldn't say you were just going to do it and get it over with, it would break Cole's heart if he heard that." I pushed her hair out of her face. "You shouldn't be so worried about whether or not you're mated. Just get to know him, he's a good guy. I promise he wouldn't push you, and he wouldn't want you running into it either. He wants you to be a happy couple. When the time comes and you are both ready, then it happens." I shrugged. "But rejecting him is not the answer. I doubt he's even thought about mating right now with everything going on."

She looked up at me with big, blue, scared eyes. 

"My mom always said that if you don't put out for your mate, they're just going to find it elsewhere, and that just keeps running through my head. I can't, I really can't, and it breaks my heart to think of him going to someone else. If I just reject him, maybe it won't hurt as bad, and then later when I'm ready I can mate with someone, and we can both be happy."