Hide Your Heart From The Past

Part 27

Paul shut the door to his garage and walked into the kitchen, as he threw his keys and sunglasses on to the nearby counter. He leaned against the bar looking around the living room for the first time in a few days. There was a trace of you all over the place, even in just one room, and memories were just as heavy.

"I need a drink," Paul said, heading toward the refrigerator.

He grabbed the half-empty bottle of wine out and grabbed the biggest glass he could find in the cabinet. Paul downed it as quickly as he could before pouring another one and started walking around the house. He looked at a picture frame sitting on a shelf, one of you, Evan, and himself the first time Paul had taken the two of you out to the park.

Paul took another swig of the wine as he continued through the house, seeing the newer photos you had taken of him and Evan. He walked over to the window staring at the pool and the studio, the place that he had spent so much time having the darkroom set up for you to continue working on your craft.

"Everything I tried to do, and she still walked away from me!" Paul yelled.

He stormed out the back door and ran toward the pool house, as the pent up anger started to flow through him. Paul kicked open the door to the studio and flipped on the light, looking around. The makeshift bed and liquor bottles still set up from the night he had surprised you with it.

"All of this, everything we went through, and everything I fucking did to show her what she deserved. She chose them, those miserable bastards that hurt her instead of me!" He screamed.

Paul walked over to the cart filled with alcohol and grabbed the whiskey bottle. He chugged down half of it before continuing the tour around the studio. Paul turned around the corner seeing the darkroom, all the equipment that Killian swore you would need to get a head start on a career. A sledgehammer caught his attention in the corner of the room.

He took another big swing of the bottle before throwing it against the wall and grabbing the sledgehammer. Paul slammed the hammer into the walls, shelves, and equipment in the small room, panting as the rage exploded out of him. He threw the hammer to the side, trying to calm his breathing as he shook. Paul walked back toward the liquor cart, grabbing a small bottom of tequila. He grabbed one of the shot glasses and filled it up, quickly taking the shot and wincing as it burnt his throat. He grabbed the bottle, preparing himself for another one.

Paul looked back at the bed, remembering that night and how pissed you had been with him over the thought of him cheating on you. He had gone through hell to get you to stay with him, and that night had been more passionate than any other time. Paul found the camera he had gotten from Killian for you and Paul's old Polaroid, with about a dozen photos scattered around the bed. Paul took a seat and scooped up one of the photos. The last one he had taken, you asleep on his chest with him holding you close to him.

"Goddamn, I love you so much, Y/N. Please come back, please," Paul said, before kissing the photo.

He drank the rest of the bottle of alcohol until the room was spinning around him. Paul laid back in the bed and held his head. Tears streamed down his face, and a painful scream escaping him. He covered his mouth and whipped the flooding out of his eyes. Paul grabbed the pillow next to him and wrapped himself around it.

"Why can't I can't be good enough for anyone?'' Paul asked before blacking out.

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A wave of nausea hit as you opened your eyes the next morning. You sprinted to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before you threw up. Standing back up, you looked at your reflection in the mirror, disgusted by the person looking back at you. The room started spinning again as you hit your knees, vomiting repeatedly. After a few minutes, you stood back up and rinsed out your mouth, heading back toward the bedroom.

"Why in the hell am I so sick?" You asked out loud

You stood in the door frame looking at the empty bed, hoping the night before was just a terrible nightmare and Paul would walk in with the morning coffee. He had kept his word, though, and flew back home, leaving you with the ultimatum with no chance to give him the answer. You wanted only Paul. You felt your stomach turn again, shaking you out of your thoughts.

"I've gotta get something for this stomach bug," You mumbled.

You changed into new clothes and ran a brush through your hair, not really caring how you looked or who may see you. You had a lot to figure out before you had to be out of the hotel, sighing. You grabbed your bag and room key.

As you waited for the elevator, you opened your bag to pull out the car keys noticing your birth control packet. Grabbing the container out and taking a deep breath before opening, scared of what you might see.

"Oh fuck, this is so not good!" You yelled,

Two weeks of pills you had missed, you walked into the elevator trying to think back to the last time you and Paul had sex. Your mind flashed back to almost three weeks ago when he had given you the surprise of the darkroom and the night the two of you had spent christening the entire room.

As soon as the doors of the elevator, you ran off to the hotel parking lot, quickly jumping in the car and speeding off, heading in the direction of the only drug store in the town. You hoped for a strike of luck you wouldn't have to encounter any family or friends.

Within five minutes, you were walking into the store, heading straight to the back where the pregnancy test and feminine products aisle was. Anxiety hit as you looked at all the tests on the display shelves. You grabbed two products and looked back and forth, trying to determine which could give the quickest results.

"Why are there so many fucking choices to give you one answer!" You snarled.

You saw someone out of the corner of your eye coming down the aisle as you turned around to put one of the tests back.

"Well, I guess the rumors are true." A familiar voice said from behind you.

You turned around, feeling your stomach do somersaults, as you turned and saw the person standing in front of you.