Tommyinnit // [ MCYT ] Angst Oneshots

it's ok, you're ok [1]

/ TW: Eating disorder, Panic Attack (near the end) /

I was with Wilbur because we decided to meet up, just because we were bored and we'd both taken a few days off of streaming. We had a good time, but now it was dinner time. Wilbur decided to order pizza. I can't not eat the pizza, Wilbur would notice and ask questions that I wouldn't want to answer.

"It's on its way!" Wilbur shouted from the other room.

'Okay!" I said trying to sound enthusiastic.

I sighed. What am I gonna do? I haven't eaten very much, I would usually only eat a little bit during the day and would barely eat a bowl of cereal, let alone a whole slice of pizza. Thinking about food just made me want to vomit.

"Foods here!" Wilbur said bringing the box into the kitchen.

Wilbur grabbed two plates from the cabinets and handed one to me. The plate felt cold as it touched my pale skin. Wilbur opened the box and grabbed a couple of slices. I grabbed the smallest slice and placed it on the plate.

"Only one slice?" Wilbur asked.

"I'm not that hungry... I ate earlier."

"It's been six hours and I haven't seen you eat anything since you got here." He retorted, "but I guess you can come back for more."

I nodded, and we both ate the pizzas, then shortly after decided to go to bed.

/ Timeskip: 22:45 (10:45pm) /

I sat on the bed. I shouldn't have eaten that pizza. I felt like I was going to vomit. I hesitated to get up but made my way to the washroom.

I coughed into the toilet, spitting up little bits of the pizza. I leant away from the bowl and flushed it. I sat down on the floor still feeling a bit uneasy and kind of dizzy. I heard a soft knock on the door.

"C-come in" I stammered.

"Hey... you alright?" Wilbur said looking down at me.

"I... I think I ate too much," I whispered.

"You barely ate anything," Wilbur said flatly.

He crouched down next to me, "what's going on, why aren't you eating?"

I stayed silent.

"Tommy?" Wilbur said softly.

I tried to hold back my tears, but they spilt out. I wiped my eyes, but the tears just came back again. I felt my hands shake and my breathing sped up a little bit.

"Tommy I-" Wilbur sighed, "Tommy have you been eating properly?"

I shook my head, then brought my knees up and buried my face in them. I started to sob. I wouldn't usually cry this much, but I guess I'd lost control.

Wilbur put his had on my back, rubbing it. I looked up slightly and noticed Wilburs eyes were shiny as if he'd also begun crying.

"It's okay, you're gonna be okay." He said softly and scooted closer towards me. "Tommy, how much do you usually eat for breakfast?"

"M-maybe a slice of toast..." I let out.

"Okay, how about tomorrow, you'll eat the slice of toast, and maybe half a banana?" He suggested.

"Okay..." I mumbled.

I didn't really want to do that, but at least he's not making me eat a whole bunch of food. The thought of food made me want to vomit again. I leaned over the toilet bowl but didn't spit up anything.

"You alright?" Wilbur asked.

"I-I don't f-feel good..." I stuttered.

I felt the vomit come back up my throat and spit it up in another fit of coughing. I shakily leaned back again. I felt lightheaded and dizzy.

"W-Wil I fell dizzy..." I said looked up at Wilbur.

"Would you like some water?" Wilbur asked.

I nodded. Wilbur got up and went to grab a glass of water.

Wilbur came back with a glass of water and handed it to me. I drank a sip and put it down on the floor next to me. I felt everything start to black out and felt myself fall against Wil.

/ Timeskip: 03:30 (3:30 am) /

I woke up, in the bed. I noticed Wilbur was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at his phone. He sniffled and let out a quiet cry. He wiped his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

"W-wil?" I whispered trying not to startle him.

"O-oh you're awake," he said turning around to look at me.

"W-What time is it?" I asked.

"03:30." He responded.

What had just occurred hit me. He knew. He knew that I didn't eat... Is he gonna pity me? Is he gonna treat me differently? I felt myself start to tear up.

"I-I'm sorry-" I chocked out and started to sit up.

"Nono, it's ok," Wil said.

I sighed wiping my tears away.

"Will..." I said shakily

"Yes, Tommy?"

"Why does it seem like you know exactly what to do with this whole... situation."

Wilbur was silent for a second.

"I... I've done the same thing that... Well... Y-You're doing right now." He stuttered. "I-I just... I don't know..."

/ Wilburs POV: Before Tommy Wakes Up /

I'd been thinking about what had happened. It reminded me of when I'd been in a really sad state. I tried to think about something else, but nothing worked. I'd just sat there, crying. I tried to go on my phone to give myself a distraction. I heard Tommy whisper my name. He asked a few questions, then said he was sorry. I reassured him that it was okay.

"Why does it seem like you know exactly what to do with this whole... Situation?"

The question caught me off guard. Do I tell him? I decided I was probably going to need to tell him at some point... So I answered. I told him the truth. He went silent. Did I fuck up? I felt the room begin to feel smaller. Did I do the right thing? I started to overthink, I could feel myself panic begin panicking. I felt the warm tears start to fall down my face onto my trousers. I felt my nails digging into my palms. God damnit... I got up and excused myself from the room, heading over to my room.

I sat on the floor next to the bed trying to calm myself down. I sobbed hugging my knees, much like what Tommy had done. I tried to breathe but my breath just kept getting caught in my throat. I looked up at the wall. Why are YOU breaking down, you're supposed to be helping Tommy, I thought. I looked around the room, spotting things and saying that they were. It's what I'd usually do to help me calm down, and it worked.

I didn't think I could face Tommy until morning, so I just went to bed, I felt pretty tired anyway.

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