Tommyinnit // [ MCYT ] Angst Oneshots

stay with me [8]

Tommy's pov

Three days had passed. Karl was making breakfast. He was making sticky buns! I loved sticky buns, but my father didn't want me eating anything... Im fat... Maybe I shouldn't eat one...

"Hey, Tommy! Come get a sticky bun!" Karl shouted, which made me jump.

"U-uh im no-t hungry!" I said from the top of the stairs.

Karl peeked from behind the wall and made his way up the stairs.

"Tommy, At least eat a little bit," Karl said.

I felt myself become pale. I didn't want to, I'm too fat. I shook my head.

"Please come and eat... You didn't have anything yesterday or the day before that," Karl said, "I know it's hard but please try."

I sighed and walked downstairs, grabbing a plate and placing a sticky bun on it. I walked to the table and sat down next to Karl.

"Where's Wilbur?" I asked

"He wasn't feeling well."

"Well, I'm not feeling well!"

"Tommy, please eat."

"But-"

"Wilbur is dealing with a lot right now, okay? Please eat."

I sighed, picking at my food. I felt Karls eyes burning into me. I picked up a piece of the sticky bun and ate it, tasting the sweet gooey cinnamon sugar bread.

I swallowed it. You're fat. You don't deserve food. I closed my eyes and breathed. I took another bite and felt sick. Make yourself sick. That not-so-tiny voice in my head told me. I got up and started walking away.

"Where are you going?" Karl asked.

"I'm going to the fucking loo leave me alone!" I snapped, yelling.

I heard Karl sigh and I walked away quickly, tears forming in my eyes.

I went to the downstairs washroom. I shut the door and slid against it. I put my hand in my head, crying. I rolled up my sleeves revealing the cuts I'd made a few days ago. I sighed angrily and looked at all the bruises that hadn't faded yet. I just sat there sobbing. I crawled over to the toilet, pushing two fingers down my throat.

"Hey, Tommy, you've been in there for 20 minutes are you okay?" Karl knocked on the door.

"F-Fine," I shouted, trying to hold in my sobbing.

"Then it's okay if I come in, right?" Karl said calmly.

I stayed silent, trying not to gag.

"Tommy... I'm going to open the door," Karl said twisting the doorknob and slowly nudging the door open.

He came in and shut the door behind him. I looked up at the ceiling, why does he need to be here... You know what? Fuck it I'll do it in front of him I don't care anymore.

I took my fingers shoving them down my throat gagging.

"Tommy no," Karl said grabbing my wrists and putting them behind me, not letting go.

I struggled against his grip, "l-let me go!" I cried.

"Tommy you know I can't do that..."

"Yes, you can just let go!" I started sobbing remembering my father grabbing my wrists before he'd hurt me, "p-please... I-I'm sorry, please... PLEASE LET GO IM SORRY-"

Karl let go but then took my hand and lead me out of the washroom. I was shaking, I wanted to get away... Nay- I needed to get away. I shook my hand out of his grip and I ran up the stairs, turning into Wilbur's room.

"W-Wilbur..." I sobbed.

Wilbur turned his head and looked at me, I walked over to him sitting next to him on the bed. He was holding a photograph, of which I assume is his brother. He set down the photo and wrapped his arms around me.

"Wilb-ur I'm s-cared..." I said rubbing my wrist.

"What happened?"

"K-Karl grabbed my wrists."

"You're safe here."

I stayed silent, I knew I was safe but... I was just scared. I got up and left the room, going back downstairs. I saw Karl sitting at the table with his hands over his eyes. I tried to sneak past him to the couch but he noticed.

"I'm sorry, Tommy," he said, not moving.

"I don't forgive you," I said flatly.

"I didn't mean to-"

"Just shut up." I cut him off, walking to the couch.

I sat on the couch. I have no idea why I was so angry today but I was. I started breathing heavily. I brought my knees up, grabbing my hair with my eyes wide. Why did Karl have to grab my wrists... My eyes filled up with tears again. WHY AM I SO GODDAMN EMOTIONAL. I took my fist and smacked the couch trying to hold in my cries.

I felt someone sit next to me. I looked up from my knees and noticed it was Karl. Of course, it was Karl... I turned so that my back was facing him, and I sobbed into my knees wrapping my hands around them.

I'm a failure. I'm a mistake. I don't deserve food. I'm fat. I ruin everything I touch. I should just die. I sobbed harder. I couldn't do anything right.

I got up and walked to my room. I rummaged through my bag, looking for my blade. I found it and stared at it, longing for the small moment of relief it gives me.

I rolled up my sleeve and hovered the blade over my arm before carving into it. Not enough. I slit through my arm more and more. I looked at the damage. Many cuts littered my arms. I opened up a couple of the older ones as well.

The door opened, Wilbur walked in.