Tommyinnit // [ MCYT ] Angst Oneshots

here for you [1]

/ TW: Self Harm, Mentions of Suicide /

I was staying with Ranboo for the weekend. It was quite late and I assumed he was sleeping. I got up from the bed and looked through my bags. I sat down on the floor and found the small blade in a hidden pocket. I stared at it. I saw a blurry dark reflection of me on the cold material. I rolled up the fuzzy sleeves of the sweater and unravelled the bandages that covered my arms.

I hovered the blade above my pale skin. I took a deep breath and slit a few cuts into my skin. It started to bleed almost immediately. There was a washroom right outside my door. I peeked my head out just making sure Ranboo wouldn't see me, then quickly pushed open the door. It made a creaking sound as it opened.

I quickly turned on the sink and put my arm under the water. It stung quite a bit and was very uncomfortable because the sink was quite small, but it was only a washroom so I didn't expect much. I heard a door creak and felt my breath get caught in my throat.

Ranboo quickly backed away and closed it.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry-" He paused for a second, "Wait are you okay?" He pushed the door back open.

I stood there not wanting to make eye contact. I could feel his eyes looking at me though. I turned off the faucet and took my arm away. There was no point in trying to hide it though. He already saw. And even if I did manage to hide it, he would question the blade that was placed on the counter.

"Tommy?" He asked. I could hear the pain in his voice.

"S-Sorry," I mumbled.

I could feel my eyes start to fill up with tears. I turned and ran out of the bathroom. I ran into the living room and quickly slipped my shoes on running out the door.

"Hey, Tommy wait!" Ranboo shouted from behind me.

I didn't stop. I could hear his footsteps on the ground following me. The cool air stung my arms as I ran through the darkness. I knew this area pretty well so I knew where I was going. I was heading to the bridge.

Eventually, I got there.

I stood still, watching the water flow.

I felt someone grab me, I turned around and it was Ranboo.

"Tommy. It's ok. I'm not mad." He choked out.

Tears dripped down his face and he was shaking. He pulled me away from the bridge and into the grass that was next to it. I hadn't realized, but I was shaking as well. I turned into him sobbing into his shoulder.

"Tommy, I'm right here. It's okay." He said, almost like he was trying to reassure himself too.

I slipped through his arms and landed on the ground. I buried my head into my knees. I felt my breathing speed up significantly. My throat also started to hurt a bit from breathing so fast. Ranboo kneeled next to me.

"Tommy, listen to me," he said in a calming tone. "I need you to breath with me, ready?"

I nodded.

"Okay, breath in... And breath out." He repeated a few times until my breathing went back to normal.

"R-ranboo I-I'm sorry-y," I whispered.

"It's alright... we should probably get back to the house," Ranboo pointed towards where the house was.

We both got up and slowly walked back to the house.

Ranboo kept an eye on me just in case I ran again, but I didn't plan too. We walked in silence other than the occasional sniffles. My arm started to bleed again, but it wasn't too bad. We got back to the house and went back into the washroom.

"You clean yourself up and I'll get the bandages," Ranboo said.

He reached up into the cabinets and pulled out a first aid kit. Then got out one of those long bandages, like the one I had on. I dried off my arm with the hand towel and Ranboo carefully wrapped it. I noticed he teared up a few times but blinked the tears away.

We went back to the bedroom and sat on the bed.

"Tommy, how often does this happen?" Ranboo asked worriedly, "how often do you... do this?"

"U-um... quite often..." I whispered back.

"You should do something else, something that's not this, it's dangerous." He said.

I looked down.

"Promise me you'll do that?" He looked at me.

I sighed, "I-It's not that simple, Ranboo. It's... It's like an addiction." I responded.

"Then promise me that you won't do as much. Try... Drawing on yourself instead." He said.

"O-okay..."

"I'll always be here to talk if you even want to."

"Alright, t-thank you, Ranboo."

"You're welcome." He yawned, "I'm going to go back to bed now... don't hurt yourself."

"I-I won't."

I laid in bed thinking about what Ranboo said. I should really try to stop. I looked at my bandaged arms. But it's so addicting. It's almost as if I like hurting myself. I shook my head. No, I need to stop. I grabbed my phone and looked up alternatives, they all seemed good, but I think I liked Ranboo's suggestion the best. I guess I'll try it.

/ Votes and Comments Appreciated ✨ /