Tommyinnit // [ MCYT ] Angst Oneshots

never felt safe [3]

/ TW: Yelling, Physical/Mental Abuse, Self Harm, Blood, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Hospitals, Eating Disorder /

/ Tommy's POV /

"Tommy, please answer me..." Wilbur whispered.

I looked down. What will he say if I tell him? What will he do? What will he-

"Tommy?"

I looked over at him. Tears filled my eyes. I looked down trying not to cry. I didn't know what to say... or where to start.

"...F-father was d-drinking," I spoke barely above a whisper. "A-and he was saying h-hurtful things... like he usually does. But this time he-he hit and pushed me. And b-broke a bottle... o-on me."

I started sobbing. I didn't want to go back. What if he hits me again? What if he hurts me and I'm not able to get help? I looked down at my hands, I felt my whole body start shaking. Wilbur was silent. I looked down at my arms. Does he know? Of course, he knows you fucking idiot. I felt Wilburs arms wrap around me and he pulled me into a hug. I sobbed into his arms. His breathing wasn't steady, so he was crying as well.

"Tommy, It'll be alright, we can get through this," his voice shook.

We sat in silence until eventually Wilbur let go of the hug. His eyes were filled with tears. I got up and excused myself heading to the washroom.

I looked in the mirror. My hair was messy, and there was still a little bit of dried blood, but it was barely visible. I looked down at the drawers and started looking through them. I wanted to cut. I didn't know why, I just had a sudden urge to. I eventually found a packet of razor blades. I opened it up and slid one out.

I rolled up my sleeves, all the cuts were still visible. I took the razor blade and slit over some of the cuts. It started bleeding. Oh goodness, I hadn't thought this through. I put my arm under the water, making it sting at the touch. I took it out from the water and padded it dry. I rolled my sleeve back down and went back out to the living room, but was stopped in my tracks. Wilbur stood in the hallway.

"What were you doing in there? You were in there for a while and I didn't hear the toilet flush."

Shit-

"I-I uh..." I stumbled on my words, I didn't know what to say. There was no saving this, he knew what I was doing.

"Tommy, please... please roll up your sleeves," He looked down at my arms.

I slowly rolled up my sleeves. Damnit I already fucked it up. Wilbur stood in silence. His eyes filled with tears, but he wiped them away and looked back up at me.

"Tommy- please don't." He said. Sadness hitched his voice.

I looked down at the floor in shame. Tears threatened to fall. I felt ill. Can I really not get away with anything? Bad thoughts started to pop up more and more.

Mistake.

Idiot.

You can't do anything right.

You're a failure.

Worthless.

Piece of shit.

Nobody cares.

I saw Wilbur move out If the corned of my eyes and immediately flinched backwards, almost falling over. I started to breathe quickly. Get out. He'll hurt you. Leave. You need to run. I backed up more, hitting the end of the hallway.

"Tommy I- I'm sorry if I scared you, I'm not gonna hurt you, it's alright," Wilbur said, worried.

He hadn't moved, maybe he isn't gonna hurt me... I took a step towards him. He opened his arms, inviting me to a hug. I rushed towards him, crying.

"I-I'm sorry" I whispered.

"It's alright," he responded.

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