Tommyinnit // [ MCYT ] Angst Oneshots

hugs [1]

/ TW: Self Harm, Panic Attack /

/ Tommy's POV /

I woke up, hyperventilating. I had another nightmare. I was trapped in a small glass box and I couldn't escape. I couldn't breathe. I saw Tubbo, just standing there... watching me slowly die.

I snapped out of my thoughts as the coldness of the room hit me. I left my window open, and it was around 3 in the morning so it was quite cold out. I looked down at my hands, they were shaking.

I tried to calm my breathing so I wouldn't wake up Wilbur who was in the room next to me. We'd decided to live together since we both streamed together. I was starting to regret my decision, therefore, I would much rather live alone so I wouldn't be bothering anyone. Also so there'd be a smaller chance of anyone finding out about my problems...

I tried to hold my breath so I'd stop hyperventilating. Salty tears streamed down my face leaving tiny drops of water on my trousers and jumper. I held my breath until I absolutely needed to take a breath, and let myself breathe again. But this only resulted in me breathing even faster than I originally was. Shit... My eyes darted around the cold room and landed on the dresser.

I got out of bed, still trying to breathe, and walked up to the dresser. I opened the bottom drawer and dug through my clothes until my hand hit the cold metal of a pair of scissors. I took it out and opened it up so my hand was touching the blade.

I clenched one-half of the scissors and hovered the other over my pale skin. I pressed down hard on my arm with the cold metal and it stung as I made more and more cuts. Tears streamed down my face as I watched my skin turn pinkish around the area where I cut.

I was about to make another cut but I heard the door open quickly and footsteps quickly walking towards me. Fuck... I felt the scissors get knocked out of my hands. I watched them as they darted to the floor. My hands were shaking. I didn't dare look up.

"Tommy?" I heard Wilbur say in a soft, but clearly worried tone.

I didn't budge. I covered my mouth with the hand that had the scissors in it and tried once again to stop breathing so quickly. I felt like I was going to pass out if I didn't get any more air. I slumped to the ground.

Wilbur knelt down and brought me closer to him, giving me a hug.  I sobbed into his shoulder. I started to calm down enough so I could breathe. I pushed myself out of the hug with teary eyes and looked at my arm. It'd started bleeding a little bit... but not too much.

"Tommy... what's going on... talk to me." Wilbur said.

I told Wilbur about the nightmares I'd usually get, and how this one was far worse than the others because of my claustrophobia. I sighed and looked down at the pair of scissors on the ground.

Do it.

Cut yourself.

You deserve the pain.

I shook the thoughts out of my head and looked down at the cuts that were still bleeding. Wilbur got up and reached out to me with his hand.

"Come on, let's get you patched up," he said barely above a whisper.

I took his hand and he brought me into the washroom and opened one of the cabinets. He took the long white bandage down and started to wrap it around my arm. I stood there in shame. I couldn't bring myself to look up at Wilbur. Why did you let him catch you? It's your fault. You made him worry.

"Tommy?" I hadn't noticed Wilbur finished bandaging my arm.

"Oh, sorry just lost in thought," I said scratching the back of my neck.

"Mmm... okay," Wilbur said walking back into my room.

I watched Wilbur lean down and pick up the scissors, and bring them out to I assume the kitchen. I made my way back into my room and sat on my bed. My finger ran down the bandage. It had a rough texture and I didn't really like it. I sighed.

"Do you have anything else in here?" Wilbur asked.

I shook my head. I didn't want him in here. I wanted to be alone... but at the same time, I did want him in here. I wanted a hug. I looked up at Wilbur. He was stood in the doorway. I felt the sadness hit me. He knew. He knew because you were careless with what you were doing. I felt my eyes tear up. I looked down and bit my lip trying not to cry.

Wilbur walked over and sat on the bed. He put his arms around me resulting in another hug. I hugged him back. I was so tired, I tried my hardest to keep my eyes open but, eventually, I fell asleep.

Votes and comments appreciated ✨

Enjoy this cursed picture of Jack Manifold.