Waveborn | The Oceane Series

Nineteen

Delmare spread out a map and several pictures in front of us, and he and Theodosia began to explain their family history and the kingdoms in great detail.

Theodosia started, her eyes sparking as she recounted the history of her people. "The goddess Keilani married a human named Marcellus in the early 1340s and they had five children together: Delmare, the king of Terenia in the Atlantic Ocean; Oshun, the king of Stowryn in the Indian Ocean; Triton, the king of Waverly, which is nestled deep in the Pacific Ocean." She paused, taking out a portrait of a woman with light blue skin, dark midnight blue hair, and striking golden eyes—eyes I recognized on Delmare. "Sedna was born next and reigned in Arcania until her death in 1770 just after giving birth to Ronan, Jr. And finally, Avisa, the queen of Thaiba, or the Southern Ocean. She died before having any heirs, so Triton's daughter, Louisa, took over responsibilities as queen while her elder sister, Theodosia, ruled over their father's kingdom."

"None of my aunts and uncles are alive today, but many of my cousins are," Delmare said as he turned to me, giving me time to absorb all the information I had been given.

"Wow, you have an enormous family," I breathed, looking at the family tree that lay before me. "How many cousins do you have?"

"Only fourteen," he replied with a shrug. "Eight of them are still alive. You will meet them all tomorrow when we have the uh—" He paused, his tone turning quiet and sad as he looked away. "The funeral."

I bit my lip, feeling for him as the room went silent. Cautiously, I placed my hand on his arm, leaning against him, hoping I could comfort him. "I think I'm going to take a walk," I announced, standing and turning to Delmare. "Would you like to go with me?"

"A walk sounds nice," he replied, but I could tell he wasn't entirely here, his mind occupied by something else as he looked at me.

I knew he needed time to deal with his grief, but it seemed like he was trying hard to be strong for everyone around him, like he refused to let it all out. Like he feared that if he showed any emotion he would be seen as weak. I wanted him to know that wasn't the case, and that he had no reason to feel like that. I said nothing, taking his hand in mine as we walked out of the library. I saw Theodosia grab something from a shelf before the door closed behind me. I chewed on the inside of my lip as we walked, the metallic taste of my blood flooding my tastebuds. Suddenly, Delmare sighed and he stopped walking, forcing me to stop and turn to him.

"Why did you want to go on this walk?"

"What do you mean? I can't just go on a walk with you?" I inquired, feigning confusion.

"Don't play dumb with me, Anna. There's something bugging you. What is it?"

"Why are you acting like this?" I blurted out. "Why are you so calm and collected? I know your hurting, Delmare. I see it in your eyes! Do you believe you have to be so put together? Do you think that if you show any emotion, you'll be less of a man? Talk to me! I know what it's like to lose a parent. You won't stress me out, and you won't hurt me. You won't be able to heal if you keep pushing down your feelings."

"Anna."

"No, don't change the subject. I'm not done," I snapped. "You aren't a burden, Delmare. You could never be a burden. I know you care about my wellbeing, but you should think about yourself and your needs too. Right now, you need to think about what's best for you."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can!" I exclaimed, my voice loader than I fully intended.

"No, I can't!" he yelled. "I am the future king of this kingdom. I can't think about myself. I have to think about what is best for the kingdom and its people. If I show weakness, that means I am not strong enough to be king."

"If you don't show emotion, Delmare, what kind of example would that be for our children?" I asked, not waiting for an answer before turning and walking away from him, anger filling me.

Delmare called after me, but never followed.

Shutting my bedroom door, I sunk to the floor, barely realizing there were others in the room. I buried my head in my hands, sobs consuming me.

"My lady, are you hurt? What happened?" Consuela asked.

I stayed put, tears flowing down my face as I tried to get a handle on my emotions.

"Did you see the physician? Is the pup alright?"

"Can you just— Please, I need some time alone," I replied, standing and making my way over to my bed. The covers were made perfect, as if they hadn't been used before.

I didn't look at the maids when they left, staring instead at the covers as my emotions overflowed. Kicking my shoes off, I unraveled the perfectly made bed and jumped in, pulling the covers over my body. I stared at the blue-green ceiling shimmering above me. This was all too much. I knew I loved Delmare, and I knew I should be there for him in his grief. It was probably wrong of me for snapping at him, but I didn't want him to worry about others' wellbeing before his own. Yes, I believed we should care about others, but only caring about others would cause heartache. He needed to have a healthy balance of caring for others and himself.

I wasn't sure when I fell asleep, but a soft knock on my door woke me up as someone came inside, apologizing profusely. "I'm sorry, Lady Anna. I know you said you wanted to be left alone, but we brought you some lunch."

"Thank you," I replied as Ondina handed me a plate, her eyes filled with sympathy and something else I couldn't put my finger on.

"Can I sit beside you while you eat?" She paused. "To keep you company?"

I simply nodded as she grinned, taking the spot near my feet as I ate. We sat in silence as I ate, Ondina never once asking me questions about what had happened or if there was anything she could do. She just sat there, hoping her presence would help and I had to admit, it did. Ondina looked over at me as I set my empty plate down, worry and concern evident on her face.

"The baby is fine. I guess you could say babies, because we're having twins. I'm upset because Delmare is upset. His father just died, but he refuses to let it out. He says he has to be strong because he's going to be king soon, and believes he should be putting the kingdom before everything else. I don't want our children to think it's okay to hold your emotions in. I believe there should be a healthy balance, yes. Be compassionate and caring for other people, but also to yourself. Do what is best for yourself and others. But it's like he has to follow his duty."

"He's royalty," Ondina replied simply. "It requires specific obligations that require a great deal from those who are in power. They do not have the same freedoms that others do." Then she realized what she said and placed a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide, "I'm sorry, my lady. It isn't my place."

"No, it's alright. And please, call me Anna. I'm not a lady. I am like you."

"No, you are so much more than I am. You are a lady of great importance, even though only a few of us know of your existence. You will be a great queen one day." She smiled knowingly.

"I still can't believe any of this. I didn't expect my life to turn out quite like this. Sometimes I wonder if this is a bizarre dream."

"I suppose for a human who did not know of our world, it can seem daunting. But you have taken it well from what I can tell," she said, looking back at me.

"Thank you for lunch. If Delmare comes back, let him know he can sleep in here tonight if he wants. If he needs to talk about anything, I'm here for him. I'm just tired, so I think I'm going to go back to sleep."

She nodded, hopping off of the bed and grabbing my discarded plate. "Okay, Anna. I'll let him know. Sweet dreams!"

***

Rubbing my eyes, I turned, craning my neck to see who was next to me. Relief washed over me as I realized Delmare was lying beside me. His eyes were closed, but there were wet streaks on his face as if he had been crying. Rolling over so that I was facing him, I pushed a fallen strand of his black hair out of his face, feeling the scruff of his cheek from his stubble. He seemed so at peace then, and it helped as I hugged him, pulling him close to me. He sighed happily in his sleep. No matter what, I would be there for him and I hoped he would let me help him during this hard time in his life. Especially after we'd promised we would be there for each other through the good times and the bad.