You Hate Nathan Sykes?!

Part 21 - Well...

*KIMBERLY'S POV*

"It's fine Kimberly. If you don't love me then I'll understand..." Nathan sighed as he look to the ground, making me feel even worse than I already did. I didn't want to make him feel this way but I didn't have any other choice.

He deserved to know the truth.

"Look, it's not that I don't love you..."

"Well what is it then?" he asked.

"I don't think I know you well enough yet to tell you that I love you as much as you love me. I'd need to spend more time with you!" I muttered already knowing how much I was hurting him by telling him this. But he needed to know. I couldn't give him false hope. And I couldn't let him think there was something there which didn't even exist.

"I can't be doing with this right now. I came all this way just for you to tell me that you were lying when you said that you loved me..." he snapped angrily at me. Twisting everything that I had said to him.

"I wasn't lying Nath. I do love you, but I don't think I have the right to say that after just one day together!" I replied, holding back the tears which were trying their best to make their way down my cheeks. I wasn't going to cry. Not in front of Nathan. I wasn't going to let him see that he was hurting me right now. That would happen after he left.

"Well you should never have said it in the first place. Tom's right about you, you're never going to change and I was an idiot to think that you would be able to!" he laughed as he disappeared from the room.

"Please Nathan. I know you don't mean that, you're just upset with me because of what I told you..." I said.

"No. I mean every single word and I never want to see you again!" he snapped at me again. This time he practically ran out of the flat just to get away from me.

Sure, I expected him to be angry and upset. But I never thought he was going to act this way. After everything that he had said to me, he was treating me just like Tom and Lewis. I hadn't done anything to deserve this.

From anyone.

I just wanted to change. To move on with my life and be a better person. I just want to be happy, but I guess that's impossible for someone like me. I'm not entitled to any form of happiness. I just deserve to suffer at the hands of everyone around me.

Everything I deserve, I get. There is no denying that.

I don't deserve to be happy with everything that I have done.

I don't deserve to have people care about me because I just push them away, when all they want to do is help me and make my life better.

And I don't deserve a better life. I made my life the way that it is and I should have to live with that. I guess this was God's way of telling me that I was never going to change. I was always going to be the failure who disappointed and let every person down.

I wasn't capable of change.

It would be easier if I just accepted that fact. Then I wouldn't feel this way just because Nathan told me the truth. I was always going to this person. I was never going to change.

And when I say never, I mean never.

*NATHAN'S POV*

As soon as I left Kimberly's flat, I regretted what I had said. It made me no better than Tom with the words that I spoke. She was trying her best to change and I knew that. But I had to open my bloody mouth and tell her that Tom was right.

I was an idiot for doing that and I should never have said it. Now she's never going to talk to me again. She was always going to hate me more than anything now and she was going to take the chance, which she had so willingly given me, away from me. Just because I couldn't think before I spoke.