Saving Harper

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It was morning the following day and I found myself tangled in Xavier's arms, buti nalang he's still sleeping soundly. Sorry, loudly actually. How did I manage to sleep through this before? His exhaustion sa pag drive ng balikan to and from Vigan was evident sa hilik nya. Ilang beses akong nagising in the middle of the night over it. The first one, I didn't mind kasi I was barely asleep yet, but the second and third and fourth time was something else. I tried nudging him para at least tumigil but that didn't work so ilang beses ko syang sinipa hanggang gumalaw sya to momentarily stop snoring para makatulog ulit ako. And I think the reason partly why I stir in the middle of the night kasi alam kong sya yung katabi ko and napapayakap ako sa kanya. Or minsan sya yung naka yakap sakin, his hand resting on my belly and our baby stirred I think he knows na malapit lang yung daddy nya. I rearranged myself every time naaalimpungatan ako, but I still somehow wind up back in his arms.

I decided to get up. Mas mabuting ako nalang yung nakaka alam ng pag yakap ko sa kanya kesa mauna pa syang magising with me in his arms and that will just give him the chance to gloat. And it was too hot anyway, even if the aircon was already turned to the lowest temperature. Normal daw that I would feel hot all the time.

I was already hungry, no surprise there, and naexcite na kong kainin yung pasalubong ni Xavier last night. I was in the middle of frying scrambled eggs when Xavier trudged out of the bedroom, putting on his black shirt. I took a deep breath. I wanted to ignore the feeling that I really missed seeing him here, like this. Waking up in the same place.

"Good morning." He boyishly smiled and lumapit sya to see what I was cooking—eggs, longganisa (a lot of those), and garlic rice. I think it was more of a past habit at dahil kakagising lang nya, he leaned in to kiss me but I moved away. My heart raced over it.

Narealize din nya yung ginawa nya. "Sorry." So instead he turned around to brew coffee. Hindi ko talaga pinag isipan yung pag aya ko sa kanya na dito mag stay last night because now I'm struggling to think of something to make this morning less awkward. Less talk could work Harper.

"Thanks for letting me stay over. Kala ko umalis ka na e." Xavier proceeded to set up the table for breakfast. My heart sank over another distant memory that we used to do this everyday before work.

I shook my head to get rid of my thoughts. "Umm, condo ko to."

"I thought that's how much you hate me." He handed me a serving plate for the eggs habang sya na yung kumuha ng rice. I looked at him. Yes, yes, Harper bagay sya dito, now move on.

"Close. Ilang beses kitang sinipa kagabi para lang tumigil kang humilik, I hope at least you felt those." I sneered.

Xavier nodded slowly and gave me a look na parang hindi nya naramdaman yon, pero may iba syang alam. The look he used to give me countless times when alam nyang I'm just denying something. "Sabi ko naman sayo pwede naman akong matulog sa couch..." Muntik na nyang ituloy sa 'pero sinabi mong dun nalang ako sa tabi mo', but changed his mind because something tells him na pag sinabi pa nya yon, ngayon pa lang paaalisin ko na sya dito. Good decision for him. Tumalikod na ko sa kanya without answering and I flushed remembering what I said last night.

It was drunk me all over again, the one who almost begged him to stay with me that drunken night. Now was way worst because I don't have the excuse of being dead drunk. Temporary pregnancy insanity? Pwede. I seem to have those all the time lalu na nung bumalik sya dito and shook my equilibrium once again.

We started eating. "Ang sarap ah, may secret ingredient ba to?" OA. Kanin lang naman talaga yung ginawa ko and it's just garlic rice, everything else was just frying.