Saving Harper

Last Days

If there's one thing Xavier's grandfather doesn't know about me yet, it was I tend to overthink everything. What he said to me the last time we were together was so open to any interpretation that I kept thinking about it all the time.

It wasn't his fault dahil it's probably the truth. Gusto ko naman na piliin ako ni Xavier. Ang tanong lang, paano nya ko pipiliin? Would it be the kind that we will be blissfully happy as I had hoped?

I panic about it pag hindi ko kasama si Xavier or kahit natutulog lang sya sa tabi ko kasi naiisip ko that he would let me go and I would lose him. Minsan nahihilo (literally) na talaga ako sa pag iisip. Ang nagpapakalma saakin pag wala sya was the charm bracelet he gave me. It was our past and our future. It was enough to stop me from going insane.

Why couldn't I just ask Xavier directly? Hindi ko din alam. I think I'm just too afraid of the answer.

But looking at him and being with him never gave me any hints na iiwan nya ko. Not in the literal sense dahil talagang paalis na sya in three days. Or maybe that's the reason why I was so anxious? Bumabalik lang yung dati kong nararamdaman.

Harper, if there's one thing in your life that you should be sure of, it's Xavier. Yun din yung sinabi mo sa kanya dati, so have faith.

For once, I pushed all of my thoughts away for these final days with him. I cuddled beside him as we waited sitting on the cold airport seats for our flight to Boracay for Hilda's wedding. Last vacation until I reunite with him on Christmas.

"Babe, paano sa Christmas sinong mageempake ng gamit ko? I can bring my whole closet finally!" I smiled jokingly. "Wala kang takas, mageempake ka ng ka-FaceTime ako. I'll message you a list." Unbelievable, but not entirely surprising. "Sa pageempake ka lang may list?" I wondered. "Di naman. Sayo din." Napakunot yung noo ko sa sinabi nya. Ano naman yung listahan nya saakin?

"Listahan naman yan ng ano? Wala akong utang sayo ha." I eyed him. Actually utang ko sa kanya kung bakit ako masaya ngayon.

"List of things I love about you."

Okay this one I have to hear! If I had the same list, nasa thousand plus na yung mga bagay na yon. I looked at him smiling too widely and too overeager. "Ano yung mga yon?" 

Natawa sya. "Gusto mong pinapahaba yung buhok mo no? Or gusto mong kiligin pa?" Pang asar nya.

"Both." Walang kahiya-hiya kong sinagot.

"Madami masyado. But I'll give my favorites. Top 3." Kumagat sya sa labi nya clearly entertained that I was so excited over this, and he paused to sift through his 'list'.

I patiently waited kasi OA if I show pa na masyado kong gustong marinig kung ano yung mga mahal nya tungkol saakin. Ang malas lang natawag na yung lecheng flight namin. Pota. So nadistract kami momentarily. Halos itulak ko na yung mga tao makasakay lang lahat sa eroplano. Xavier just found my impatience with people very amusing.

"So ano na?" I asked as we finally sat down sa seats namin.

Natawa sya. "So impatient kiligin. Hindi pa ba ako enough?"

"You're always enough. Alam mo naman yon e." I turned to kiss him deeply para sabihin na nya. Manipulative moves.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing, baby." He licked his lips then kissed me again. Gumagana naman. "First, I love how you can surprise me sa mga ginagawa mo and mga sinasabi. I've always tried my hardest to read you. Your face, expressions, reactions to get to know you more. Most of the time I correctly predict your reactions, but favorite ko yung nasusurprise ako sayo." Okay sa una pa lang kinikilig nako.