Saving Harper

Guilt

"Holly?" We slowly approached her. She looks like she's been crying for a long while already kasi pag tingin nya saamin, namumugto at namumula yung mga mata nya. Her hair was even disheveled. Medyo kinabahan ako kasi if she was here to make amends, I doubt she's going to cry like this.

It's definitely something else.

When she saw us, tumayo sya and nagulat kaming pareho ni Xavier nung yumakap sya saakin. What the???

I've already forgotten the last hug we've done. Parang bata pa kami non. My arms felt awkward as I patted her on the back. Xavier observed us for a while, well mostly me feeling ko natatawa sya kung gaano ako ka gulat at ka awkward sa nangyayari ngayon, but he can't exactly laugh at my face kasi sobra yung iyak ng kapatid ko.

I handed Xavier the keys to my condo since I don't think Holly wants to move yet umiiyak parin sya sa balikat ko. Xavier entered my condo to leave us two alone in the hallway.

"Holly, medyo kinakabahan nako sayo. Anong problema?" I asked her. It was a mistake, mas lalu syang humagulgol. God did someone die? But if someone did I'm sure yun yung una nyang sasabihin.

"I'm sorry Harper. I'm really sorry for what I did to you." She cried. Uhhmmm medyo OA to for a sorry. She finally let go so she can look at me. I just kept my straight face. I'm not sure if she's just crying for the drama. Para eventually maawa nalang ako and forgive her.

"You were totally right. I was so spoiled and so selfish. I never thought about anyone else except for myself. Hindi ko iniisip if may nasasaktan ako." She could barely say those words sa kaka ngawa nya. Yeah true, malapit nako ng konti maawa, but not enough to forgive her. What you are is never an excuse pag may nasaktan kang tao. And what she did, she did it on purpose.

Wala akong masabi because I wasn't ready for this. I was more prepared na hindi na ulit kami mag uusap kahit kailan. Was I ready to forgive her for everything? All her meanness, her selfishness, lack of care and empathy, blatant disregard for everything and everyone around her, her lies, and her not feeling the slightest apologetic about doing and being all of those things. Actually, the fact that she didn't mention those other things during this apology, says a lot. She hasn't even scratched the surface.

So bakit sya all of a sudden crying her eyes out and saying sorry? Gusto ba nyang mag artista? She has to try harder para makakuha ng emosyon galing saakin.

"Ate..." Definitely ngayon ko nalang sya tinawag ulit na ate. It somehow doesn't feel right anymore. "Holly, I can't really understand why you're doing this. I know you, and I'm sorry if I'm doubting everything you're saying to me right now." If I'm straight up about some thing other than work, it's letting my opinions about my family known to them.

"Yeah, may ibang reason talaga." See. This is not her. She finally stopped crying and started drying her tears. The director just ended the scene. "Can we go inside to talk?" She pointed at my door.

"Paano mo nalaman where I live?" I asked with a frown as I opened my door. Nagugulat ka pa Harper e number nga ng fake boyfriend mo nahagilap nya.

"I asked Jem. For 3 days. And tatlong araw na din nyang sinasabi na even if she gives it to me, you're in Iceland with, umm, Xavier." Naiirita parin ako whenever she says Xavier's name. Gusto kong bawiin sa bibig nya. "I thought kahapon ka uuwi so I waited yesterday as well."

Di naman siguro sya nag hintay SINCE yesterday.

"You could have just called. We stayed sa bahay nila Xavier when we arrived yesterday." Even saying his name to her was against my will.