Saving Harper

This Lifetime

Flashback to six days ago.

I think I'm going crazy with Xavier's detailed and strict list.

"Babe, di tayo matatapos if you keep changing your mind." Xavier massaged his temples with one hand while holding my iPad that has our Christmas gifts list. Alam kong nababaliw na din sya saakin. We were sitting side by side sa kama and we're running through the list that we were finally able to finish yesterday. We're going to join the holiday rush tomorrow by going sa mall as soon as it opens and we'll buy everything already kaya Xavier made a list para di daw kami paikot-ikot. Medyo cramming na nga talaga kami so the list made sense.

Nananahimik na yung listahan namin—na pinaghirapan nya because they were all categorized and he even placed the specific stores where we can buy the gifts, until I scanned through it, questioning our choices. I kept changing some and it was Xavier's trigger point for tonight.

"I want to give tatay the perfect gift!" This gift-giving business is so stressful. "Love, he's going to be happy sa kahit anong ibibigay natin. You know tatay. Lahat naman sila magiging masaya sa mga regalo natin."

I pursed my lips, medyo nahihiya ako sa reason ko why this is all stressing me out. "I just want this to be a perfect first Christmas for us." I said that one in a quiet voice. "Of course it will be perfect." He pulled me in his arms. "First time ko kasi to spend it like this. The last time I actually enjoyed Christmas was..." I paused to think about it. It was that long time ago. "When we were still kids. And it was mostly because of the gifts, but I really want to appreciate this, because your family is so excited for the holidays. And this is a big deal for you."

Xavier surveyed me with an amused smile but his eyes were soft na parang kinikilig. I guess I still have my powers. I just hope it was as strong as his with the way he makes me feel. "I can't believe days ago hate na hate mo ko, tapos ngayon balik ka na sa pag pakilig saakin." He leaned closer and started trailing kisses from my cheek to the side of my neck.

"And I'll go back to hating you if you don't focus." He groaned and begrudgingly went back sa iPad waiting for me to change another gift from the list. He's trying very hard to be patient. "Ikaw ba love anong gusto mong gift sa Christmas?" Okay, it wasn't subtle but I really want to know because I have no idea what to get him.

"Ikaw." He answered agad-agad. Very Xavier.

"Na wala pa sayo ngayon. You already have me."

Nag isip sya for a few seconds. "If physical things, wala."

"Ah, so ayaw mo na ng physical ngayon? Noted." I said in jest. Xavier poked his finger on the side of my ribs playfully and natawa ako then he went back to kissing the back of my ear pulling me closer again. "Xavier stop. Pag ginising mo yung baby natin, ako yung hindi makakatulog sa kakasipa nya. Lumilikot na yung anak mo."

"Sige later. Promise, di tayo magiging wild para di sya magising. Practice na din yon for the future." He winked at me and umayos na sya ulit. We used to talk about our future a whole lot, especially nung paalis na sya noon, but now it just feels different. Parang talagang abot-kamay na namin yon. It's like running a marathon and you start to see the finish line ahead. I'm just happy that finally we're crossing it together.

"Okay, going back. Anong gusto mong regalo?" I fixed myself.

"Madaya ka din e." He chuckled. Nasanay din kasi ako that Jem, Liv, Franco and I would just simply tell each other what we want para sure kaming lahat that the gift would be appreciated and used. Sure it takes away the surprise, pero ang hirap kapag ikaw na yung mag iisip what they need. "O sige, ano bang gusto mong ibigay sakin? So I can make sure it's what I want."