Saving Harper

Time

I looked around as our relatives were strewn around the lunch venue. Ang daming nakapaligid kela Hilda and Nick saying their goodbyes, while the rest nagkwekwentuhan pa. Obviously, not in any hurry to leave since madami din na ginawa tong wedding weekend na to para mag bakasyon.

Liv was even on hr way here from Manila para samahan pa si Jem dito for 3 days, vacation na din nila. It would have been nice if Xavier and I could join them, plus Franco. If only we had more time.

Time.

I felt my time winding down with every look that I gave every thing and every one around me and with every silent second that passed between me and my dad. I didn't know how to reel every second in. Kahit sya mukhang hindi nya alam kung paano sisimulan na makipag usap saakin. I stood there awkwardly as he also awkwardly waited for my answer.

"Dad can we go somewhere else na mas tahimik?" I asked him. Holly and my mom wasn't around to see us. They're probably socializing with our titas but I really don't want to do this here kung saan kami maririnig ng lahat ng tao. My dad seems to agree since he just stood up wordlessly to find a place away from our relatives.

I pulled my luggage behind me since I plan to leave right after this talk, di ko na din alam if I should check my watch or hindi. Baka maiyak lang ako. Iba yung feeling mo na ang dami segundong nawawala sayo versus seeing the time itself.

A part of me wants to find out what my dad wanted to talk to me about and a part of me just wants to run off.

He was the quiet type and doesn't enjoy small talks and I think nakuha ko din yon sa kanya. I've always imagined how he was with his patients. Tahimik din ba sya or sila yung exception? Like how I used to be his exception nung ok pa kami.

I hope he would quickly get to the point with this one. I really want to tell him that I want to skip all the niceties and awkward small talks, but knowing him, it might have taken a lot of his pride to even tell me he wanted to talk so I couldn't say that. He didn't say we HAVE to talk nor we NEED to talk. He wanted this but he still asked me. I had another chance to walk away from him, but I couldn't do it again. So deep inside, I might have also wanted this.

I took my seat across him dun sa cafe part nung restaurant away from everyone else. I closed my eyes when a waiter approached us to take coffee orders. Jusko kuya, nagmamadali ako.

My dad looked at me and finally started to talk. "Alam mo nung bata ka pa, you've always been so impatient with people. You wanted everyone talking to you to get to their point. You get bored with the unnecessary, unlike your two sisters who can probably do small talk the whole day. And you always get this certain look pag nagsasawa ka ng maghintay sa kausap mo. You now have that same look of impatience." He didn't say that to judge me. It was more like he was actually reminiscing my childhood since he was smiling at some faraway memory. Na parang naaalala nga nya what I looked like during my impatient moments as a child. I could feel it pull on my heartstrings and I had to frown to keep myself from tearing up about what he mentioned. OMG ka Harper iisang memory lang yan.

"Harper, I'm asking for your patience right now." He spoke carefully like he doesn't want to trigger me to walk away. I still remained silent, waiting for him.

"I just want to say I'm really sorry." He said softly.

"Dad, whatever reason you have with mom for the both of you to decide not to tell us about mom's condition, though may be valid, was really selfish. I know I'm angry and the way we all left things between us wasn't good, but I also deserved to know. Kahit papano, she's still my mom. Hilda and Holly also deserved to know. We all did."