Saving Harper

Stopover

"Paano pag sinabi nyang dun ka nalang?" Franco asked as he drank his beer. Nandito sya sa condo ko a day before my flight to "help" me finish packing pero mostly to coach me kung paano ko sasabihin kay Xavier na buntis ako.

Tatlong araw lang ako dun but I filled up one large-sized suitcase with clothes. Not because I was hoping for a longer stay but in my mind gusto kong asarin si Xavier. Gusto ko mang gigil sya pag nakita nya yung bagahe ko and all the unnecessary clothes that I brought. Ay bubuksan mo ba maleta mo sa harap nya? He probably wouldn't even see my suitcase, but cramming it with all the unnecessary clothes I want to bring gave me so much satisfaction. I already booked a hotel for my stay. Para sure din na wala akong gagawin na katangahan.

"Diba binasura nya yung idea na yon? Saka ano namang gagawin ko don?" Uhh yeah Harper, kalimutan mong once upon a time nag plano kang lumipat don to play the doting wife to your non-boyfriend.

"Ayokong malaman kung anong gagawin nyo don ni Arnaiz." He sniggered. Dumi ng isip. But good job to me on booking that hotel. Mahirap na baka mag iba yung direksyon ng hangin.

"Ha ha." Inirapan ko sya and umupo ako sa maleta ko habang sinasara ko. Medyo parang nakalimutan kong buntis ako ah, paano ko bubuhatin to? Diba strong ka Harper? I hate my subconscious.

"So ano nga paano pag sinabi nya?"

"God, ano ako laruan? 'Don't wait for me, don't move your life, don't live your life for someone else', pero stay there? So, it's a no." Yan din isasagot ko kay Xavier. IF magtanong sya. IF. I still hate you, Xavier. Pwedeng idagdag yan. "Saka bakit mo tinatanong yan? Diba kampi ka sakanya? Diba you agree with him? So you know he's never going to ask that." I pointed out. Yes, Xavier will not ask that. Yata. I suddenly feel na parang hindi ko na sya kilala.

Franco made a face at me dahil alam nyang he's contradicting where he stands pag dating sa issue na to.

"Okay sige na, mag practice na tayo." He said when I finally stood up and rolled my luggage para ilagay na malapit sa pintuan. "Alam mo na pala kung saan mo sya pupuntahan?" He asked me as I plopped across him sa sofa.

"University of Washington. Tapos kaya ko na sya hanapin don." Actually, I have no idea where to find him. How hard can it be? It's just a campus. Unlike men, I have no problem asking for directions. I think I remember him mentioning Mercer Court? Basta may "court", it's a campus housing for post-graduate students so madali lang hanapin yon.

Truth is, I just don't want to message him.

"Alam mo naman siguro kung gaano ka laki yung mga universities don diba? You want me to ask him para di ka na mahirapan?"

"No! Mamaya gumawa pa yon ng plano na dinner or whatever. I want to make this quick." Sa totoo lang kung malapit lang yung Seattle, magbabalikan nalang ako. Mukhang tanga if I just stay there for one day so ginawa ko ng 3 days. Dapat pala sinabi ko kay Julian to meet me there para may kasama ako at hindi ako lalapitan ni Xavier.

Just like Xavier saved me before from being pursued by Julian, gagawin ko talaga ulit? And opposite naman ngayon. User naman ako masyado non. Bukod sa magtatanong lang yon si Julian why I'm not with Xavier anymore or why I'm even inviting him there, I'll just be creating another mess, so wag na. Saka saan ka ba natatakot Harper?

Sa karupukan ko.

"Teka, alam ba nya na pupunta ka?" Franco eyed me.

"No." I plainly answered nanlaki yung mata ni Franco. "What does it matter anyway? Parang dumaan lang ako don to tell him something. No big deal." I said defensively. I don't know if Franco would understand lahat ng hesitations ko. Gusto ko lang gawin tong simple, kahit na deep inside, this is way more complicated.