as long as i have you

14- Happy together

Two Months Later

Y/N pov

Hank and I have been together for two months, so have Veronica and Bucky. Sadly, I think Veronica is telling Bucky not to talk to me as much anymore. We see each other sometimes but we definitely don't run into each other's rooms anymore. He's just across the hall and yet it feels like he's a million miles away. I miss him, but I'm glad he's happy with Veronica. He deserves to be happy after everything he's been through. Plus, I'm happy with Hank. He treats me so well and he's beautiful. He has long eye lashes and bushy brown eyebrows that bring out his piercing blue eyes. I wish I could stare into them for all eternity but every time I look at him too long, I think of Bucky. But that doesn't mean anything, I'm happy with Hank right?

"Hey babe, let's go out to dinner tonight." Hank said coming out from the bathroom after his shower.

"Got any specific place in mind?"

"How about that Italian restaurant we love so much?" He asked coming over to kiss me.

"I'm looking forward to it."

Veronica and Hank were the only outsiders welcome at the compound, I didn't really know why but everyone liked them and Tony allowed it so I wasn't complaining. I've talked to Veronica a couple times, she's actually very kind. Bucky is very lucky to have her. Hank isn't very fond of Bucky because he's convinced he used to be in love with me. I disagree, there's no way Bucky ever loved me like that.

I went out to the kitchen to grab some toast and I saw Bucky making two cups of coffee. Being alone with him was painfully awkward and it barely ever happened but when it did, I always just wanted to blurt out, "Why don't we talk anymore?" But part of me already knew the answer to that. We were too close before and both of our lovers would not approve, but Bucky and I didn't know how to be friends any other way so, we drifted. Which was very unfortunate but everything happened so  fast and we never got to talk about it. And now, we're just like an Avenger and his manager who only say two words maximum every month.

I was busy thinking about how much I missed him when I dropped my toast, Bucky reached to pick it up and so did I. For the first time in what felt like a million years, our eyes met. Tears formed in my eyes and I saw one trickle down his cheek. He held one end of the toast and I held the other, it felt like we were standing there for 10 minuets, never taking our eyes off of each other. My eyes said "I miss you" and I think Bucky could tell because his eyes only soften more as each second passed. Then, Hank walked in and I quickly wiped away the tears falling from my eyes, "Am I interrupting something?" he asked walking towards me. Bucky grabbed the two coffee cups and swiftly went upstairs to his room, where I assumed Veronica was.

"No, sorry sweetie." I said sniffling.

"Are you crying y/n?" He said turning my face to his.

"No of course not, just something in my eye."

Hank stood there for a moment, blankly staring at my face. Finally he spoke up, "You still love him don't you? You never stopped."

"What are you talking about Hank? I love who?"

He pointed towards the stairs, "Bucky. You still love Bucky."

"Hank why would you say that. I don't love him, I love you. And only you." I said as tears filled my eyes.

"You've never looked at me the way you look at him y/n."

A tear fell from my eye.

"I don't know when you started loving him but since then, you haven't stopped. And anyone could see that, I don't know how I didn't." Hank said turning away.

"Hank stop. Please." I pleaded as tears streamed down my face. "Wait, Hank. Please stop."

He was gone. He had left the compound completely and something told me he wasn't coming back. Just then, Nat came in.

"Hey y/n." She walked over to me and saw the tears falling down my face. "Hey, hey sweetie what's wrong?" I collapsed into her arms. "It's okay, it's going to be okay." She said rubbing my back. I sobbed into her shoulder until I had no tears left to cry.

"So, what's going on?" Nat asked leading me to the couch.

"Well, ever since Bucky got a girlfriend, we never talk. I swear we haven't made eye contact for two months. We're completely strangers. And I came down to make toast and he was here making coffee for Veronica and I dropped my toast and he picked it up and we just stopped..." I started crying a little more, "... and stared at each other with tears in our eyes and then Hank walked in and he thinks I still love Bucky and then he stormed off and I don't think he's coming back." I rambled as tears starting flowing out. I threw my head into my hands sobbing.

"Oh y/n, I'm sorry. You don't deserve this. I'm so sorry sweetie." Nat said as her throat was choking up as if she was about to cry. She embraced me in a hug and let me cry a bit longer. Then she spoke up and said, "Y/n, do you think it's possible that..." I looked up at her. "Do you think it's possible that Hank was right. Do you still love Bucky?"

For a moment, I was mad that she would even asked me that but within a second I thought maybe Hank was right, "Yeah, I think I might." I said crying even more.

"Maybe you should tell Bucky." She said rubbing my back.

"No!" I shot up, "He's happy for the first time with Veronica. I won't ruin it for him."

"Y/n, there was a time where you were Bucky's whole world. He told all of us. You were the only thing he cared about and he would never stop complaining about how you would never love him back. You can't just get rid of those feelings with two months and a new girl who looks exactly like you.  From where I'm standing, he still loves you. But you have to put yourself out there to find out. And if he says no, hey..." She said lifting my chin up to meet her eyes, "If he says no, the rest of the team will always be here for you. But if you want him, you're going to have to put yourself out there."

"He used to talk to you guys about me?" I asked hopefully.

"Please y/n, you drove him crazy but he would do anything for you. You made his world go 'round."

"Thank you Nat." Said as I leaped into her for a hug, "You're the best girlfriend I have."