34. One Last Time

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"So one last time,
I need to be the one who takes you home.
One more time,
I promise after that, I'll let you go."
~Ariana Grande

Savannah's POV
I stared at my empty room. It stripped bare and all my bags were packed. A flood of emotions hit me. I've had a multitude of rooms but this room was going to be my last room that was this close to him.

I jumped as I felt a hand grab my shoulder gently. I turned around to see Gabriel's face. He had a soft smile and asked me, "Are you ready to go?".

I hesitated. My heart yearned for Sebastian. I hated how I attached was to him, even after all this time. He saved me. He gave me love when no one else did. My therapist said I was manifesting abandonment issues and that I was extremely attached to him because he was the first person to not leave my side. She said there was no harm in having a relationship with him as long as there was boundaries.

I disagreed. I didn't want to be reliant on him. I did too much to hurt him. I cheated, lied, and ran away from him. He didn't deserve me. He deserved someone better. Someone like Lilith.

I nodded and kissed him gently. This was good. Gabriel was good. He will become my good. He took my hand and led me outside where the car was waiting. It was raining and all I could think about was that night where I left Jasmine and ran to Sebastian. I didn't know what he would do but I took a chance because I knew I loved him. How I wish I could go back and kiss him like that one last time.

"Awful rain. Don't worry, it's clear skies and sunshine where we're going," Gabriel encouraged me.

I faked a smile and got into the car with him. I was looking at the handle and considered jumping out when the car started moving. I felt it build up inside of me. I felt the big ball of anxiety rise up in my chest.

Gabriel hummed and held my hand as he looked out the window, oblivious to my obvious state of panic. Flashes of Sebastian flooded my head. I knew it was selfish, but I still wanted him. I realized then that it would always be him. No one else would do it for me. I wanted him. I wanted my daddy.

It wasn't fair to Gabriel to go to France. It wasn't fair to anyone to keep up with the lies. I accepted I was selfish and I hurt people. It made this next part a little bit easier.

"Gabriel, I can't do this," I mumbled out.

"What was that?" He asked.

"I can't do this. I can't go to France with you."

I expected him to get angry or be surprised, but he remained completely calm and almost seemed to be expecting this. He spoke finally, "I always knew this conversation would come. I'm just surprised we lasted this long."

"W-what?" I asked him.

"I knew from the moment I met you that you would always love him. I guess a small part of me hoped that you could love me too. Savannah, you're one of the strongest people I know. You might make mistakes but that doesn't make you a bad person. It just shows you have growing to do, but you have been doing that. I'm just grateful you let me be apart of that," Gabriel said with a soft smile.

He motioned for the driver to pull off to the side and I quickly got up and opened the door. I looked back and kissed Gabriel on the cheek, "Thank you."

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