A Little Hope

28. Divided

"Stay up late with broken minds.
No text from you but I'll be fine.
I fall asleep with ocean eyes.
I say no words like a midnight mime."
~Melanie Martinez

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Savannah's POV
It's been two months. Two months that had slipped by in a second. Two months since I took the kids away and returned them to their parents. Two months since I dealt with Gloria's bullshit. Two months since I saw his face.

Those two months had been a whirlwind. I saw more sights than I could ever dream of a year ago, sitting in my old bedroom with my father hovering over. I grew to like Gabriel more and more as each day passed, but it was nothing compared to how I felt about Sebastian.

I found myself yearning for him, but he was still so far away. I would wonder what he was doing at that very second and if he was thinking of me at all.

Probably not.

Sebastian stopped loving me the day his mother stepped into our lives and I had to learn to accept that. I may have not loved Gabriel yet, but I would with time. At least that's what I kept telling myself.

Being on a boat in the middle of the ocean tends to put everything in perspective for you when you have nothing but the person beside you and the vast openness of water. It made me reflect hard on my life and those that I held dear to me.

I knew when I got back, Jasmine was going to have an uproar for leaving out of nowhere once more. When I left, I told only Rue because he was my best friend and the person I trust most in the world. I knew he would support me no matter what.

Another thing I discovered that I missed though, was being small. I hadn't regressed in two months and I found myself starting to slip involuntarily and I had to keep it in, so Gabriel wouldn't see. I didn't plan on ever telling him because, for me, Sebastian would be my only caregiver ever. That void was still too open and the wound too fresh. Being little was a reminder of him and it was too painful to do. Not to mention the lack of privacy as well on a tiny boat.

I was grateful for Gabriel though for everything. He knew I wasn't ready and didn't push for anything sexual with me. He took me away from all the drama and chaos from that apartment. I couldn't help but think of him as Sebastian 2.0 as once a stranger rescued me from a not so happy environment. One of these days, I was going to need to learn to save myself.

The only thing he did kind of push for was to make it official. I couldn't help but agree to it when I saw his smile grow whenever he saw me. His eyes had that same glow as Sebastian and I found myself staring at him for it. I did also share some of the same feelings that Gabriel had.

When I left, I left all my heart and soul with Sebastian. When I was close with Gabriel though, he made the emptiness inside of shake a little and remind me that there were still some shattered fragments of me left in there.

I pushed my thoughts aside I stared at the sun setting over the horizon on the boat. This was our last night and I wanted to capture the beauty of this moment one last time.

Gabriel came from behind and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek. He smiled and said to me, "Soon we'll be back on land. I'm going to miss exploring the waters with you, but at least you'll be able to meet my father. He's been asking all about you the moment I mentioned your name for the first time."